I don't like cliches-I think most people get fed up with them. I really, really "like" the one that goes: when one door closes, another one opens. Yeah, right? Usually, when one door closes, it does so with such force that it either smacks you in the face or belts you in the ass. But-in this case, I am mistaken.
I got the old door slamming in the backside two weeks ago-as you know-and I was only annoyed at the disgraceful way it was done-and, of course, the fact that I wasn't the first one to say I'm going. And I have given the three cripplers and the petulant overgrown baby two weeks of my time-and that is two weeks more than they are worth. Actually, two seconds would be more than they are worth. I'm just about ready for the video update, now that I am no longer a YouTube virgin...and I have written to everyone I know to ask them to see the video and to check out this blog. So-I've nearly done all I can. Now I just have to sit back and watch the fertilizer hit the fan (yippee).
I said that a door opens when one closes-and my door opened in record time. I was able to organize the immunoglobulin (actually, the credit goes to John, my now ex-nurse), I organized everything I needed to do for the surgery (which is in two week countdown now, so I only have a few days to change my mind!).
Two weeks ago my GP referred me to the immunology team at the same hospital that is "hosting" my reconstruction. To their credit, the team pulled out all the stops and sent me an appointment for -this morning. After a forty-five minute appointment, I realized that I am in the right place. The new immunologist is terrific: friendly, competent, organized, grown up (got that, Goofy?), and I now have appointments for my infusions, as well as everything in readiness for the surgery in two weeks.
Now I am kicking myself because I wish I had jumped ship years ago. I couldn't stand up, so I couldn't jump anything anywhere. And when I was finally able to walk a bit without falling over, I discovered I had breast cancer. Hmmm...it has been a really awful five years. Only now I feel like that door being slammed in my backside was a blessing, because I could't keep procrastinating.
It has been a really valuable two week period-and, for the first time in five years, I feel reasonably safe to go into the hospital. I did say "reasonably safe"-the jury will be out until the surgery is over, and believe me when I say that when I come around from the anesthesia, I will be checking for my kidneys.
I'm not quitting the fight, either. When the pathetic four find that everything they say and everything they do is under intense scrutiny, and they have no choice but to wake up and either learn how to behave or go and flip burgers in McDonald's, then I will have done my job. Then I will start on something (or someone) else. If I'm not fighting for a cause - I get bored...
Wednesday, 29 July 2015
Sunday, 26 July 2015
Bulldogs without teeth
I knew when I made all the complaints to Barts Trust that it was a useless exercise-so I expected nothing, and nothing was what I got. PALS, the patient advice and liaison service, did nothing. I emailed them, then went to complain in person, and they were terribly shocked-but it was all lip service. They didn't get back to me, and in real terms, they have no power whatsoever. But there is a hierarchy when it comes to making complaints, so I followed the rules, even though they are a waste of time and a crock of shit. What can I say?
The General Medical Council wrote and told me that any unprofessional behavior on the part of a hospital doctor should be reported to the hospital complaints department. They won't handle anything unless a patient dies-and even then the next of kin need to prove negligence. As for the complaints department, I wrote to them when I wrote the complaint to PALS. Same result: all three departments are like toothless bulldogs: they have no power to do anything except back the doctors. They all stick together- like rats. Even the complaints people advised me that the very odious Matt Buckland was within his rights to refuse treatment-and if he was unprofessional, spiteful, vicious, immature-and ready and willing to put my life at risk-well, as they pointed out, nobody died.
I wasn't in the least bit surprised at this news-because Barts is notorious for hiring incompetent doctors, and has been sued on various occasions. Sadly, they don't have the ethics to admit wrongdoing, so it has always been difficult for the victims of malpractice.
Something is radically wrong with a system that rewards its incompetent specialists; something is radically wrong when unprofessional, spiteful, incompetent, unethical doctors can do whatever they want without being accountable to anyone. And the four I've been talking about are proof that some unscrupulous - no, evil, heinous - people are in it for the money, not to help anyone, because clearly they don't like their patients. If they did, they wouldn't cripple and nearly kill them, would they?
I think that Buckland, Grigoriadou, Bright and Longhurst are just out for as much money as they can get-and consultants do very nicely, thank you. They want the money, and the power over other people, and, of course, immunity from prosecution. My friend is looking at me while I am typing this, and said that I should also mention all the casual sex, too. Pardon? Casual sex? I've never heard of that one, but it probably exists somewhere. These four have no chance. Bright and Longhurst look like Mr. and Mrs. Potato-Head. Grigoriadou closely resembles a startled, demented wart-hog. And Buckland-well, he looks like a ringer for the Disney character "Goofy". Why on earth would anyone want to have sex with any of this lot-unless they are blind and senile, or so desperate they would only do so if they put a paper bag over their heads. On second thought, make that a plastic bag. It's one way of getting rid of them before they kill someone. Ewww-sex with the four cripplers? Ewww-even the thought is enough to turn my stomach. Anyway, Buckland is so arrogant and egotistical, he probably has a very, very tiny - well, you can fill in that blank yourself. Men who are arrogant and have ego problems usually - or so I'm told, I haven't done the research myself (yet) - have equipment the size of a peanut. Half. Remind me to write up a questionnaire sometime and go around the pub and ask. I'll bring a tape measure, too - and plenty of backup.
So, you ask, what is the plan? Do I have a plan? Is the Pope Catholic? Of course I have a plan-I always do.
Complaining to any hospital agency or department, or any medical council, is a useless exercise. And the courts don't help, because a barrister friend of mine told me that the big settlements are usually overturned in the appeals courts. So that is annoying. No, the best forum for whistle-blowing-and I am certainly whistle-blowing-is something that has become vital-and incredibly powerful- in the lives of anyone who has a computer: social media. Social media is the way to get all this important stuff out into the world, and the way to ensure that justice is served.
I don't really use Facebook. I have an account, but I'm rarely on it. I'm a bit too busy these days! And I don't have a Twitter account, or an Instagram account, or anything else that will probably bring me kicking and screaming into the year 2015. But I have friends who do-and so do you. Hopefully.
I only just uploaded my first ever video onto YouTube-therefore losing my YouTube virgin status. I know there is a link that can be sent to all my friends via email, but I haven't worked that one out yet. I'm still working on my second video-so technically that would probably make me a semi-virgin.
I went public because someone had to do so-people's lives are at stake. Now here is a question for you: would you put your life, or the lives of your loved ones (children, siblings, partners, parents, and anyone else you care deeply about) in the hands of someone who clearly lacks the ability to listen to you as a patient, who has a history of emotional and anger management issues (that would be Buckland), who clearly doesn't care if he or she cripples and nearly kills a patient? Would you put your life in the hands of someone like that-and someone who has no accountability to anyone, who can do what he or she wants without any fear of having to take responsibility for their actions?
I didn't think so-at least I hope not, because if you are that trusting of someone who doesn't have your interests and welfare at heart, you really have to be very naive. I was; I learned the truth the hard way.
I went public on the blog, on YouTube, only because I feel a moral obligation to those people who have been abused and victimized by evil doctors - doctors who must be stopped, or who must face an independent board - not other doctors, they are like a pack of rats, they all stick together - before these doctors succeed in crippling or killing more patients. And I know that many more so called "doctors" exist, in this country and in every other country. How many other people have had their lives destroyed because the hospital used Gentamicin, a known hideously toxic drug, when other, newer, less damaging and equally effective antibiotics are on the market?
The NHS won't pay for a decent drug if it can get away with poisoning someone with gentamicin. And the equally toxic doctors (like the four cripplers) won't be held accountable for anything they decide they want to do, no matter how unethical it is, until someone steps up and starts a riot.
So, the plan is simple: if everyone who reads this blog is as scandalized as I am - and if everyone has gone onto YouTube and searched for "crippled by hospital incompetence" (I'll post the shorter link as soon as I figure it out), and if everyone then sends links to the blog and the video to ten people, to everyone on their facebook page, to all their followers on Twitter, and possibly to the local newspapers, then we have more than just one person. If we get fifty people, we have what I call a grass roots movement - the start of a movement to create social change, to bring about social justice, to save lives of innocent people who might still believe that doctors are somehow gods.
If we get a few hundred-or, better still, a few thousand-then we have a revolution.
Why should anyone be afraid to speak out? Why should anyone be threatened, bullied, abused, mistreated, victimized, hurt in any way, either physically or emotionally (threats can be insidious things)? Why should anyone be forced to suffer because of evil, unscrupulous people who only have their interests (not ours) at heart? There are people who are afraid of reprisals, and people who don't speak the language (those are really prime targets of these monsters).
We can change the way doctors and hospitals do (or don't do things). We can save innocent people from having to go through what I have gone through for the past five years. We can force changes in the law so that we are all protected-and not just in the field of medicine, but in every other field as well.
Politicians are only there because we put them there. Doctors can only practice if we allow them to practice-and if they are worse than useless, if they are downright dangerous, we can be the ones who get them the discipline they so richly deserve.
Only we can do that-only we the people can do that. We can do that by voting with our feet, with our computers, with our phones and our texts and our emails. WE have all the power; we just don't know it. And we don't need guns, or terrorist attacks, or bombs, or anything that incites riots or creates heartache. All over the world, we are the ones who can initiate lasting change. All we need is the desire and the determination to do what is morally and ethically right.
Anyone else care to join me?
The General Medical Council wrote and told me that any unprofessional behavior on the part of a hospital doctor should be reported to the hospital complaints department. They won't handle anything unless a patient dies-and even then the next of kin need to prove negligence. As for the complaints department, I wrote to them when I wrote the complaint to PALS. Same result: all three departments are like toothless bulldogs: they have no power to do anything except back the doctors. They all stick together- like rats. Even the complaints people advised me that the very odious Matt Buckland was within his rights to refuse treatment-and if he was unprofessional, spiteful, vicious, immature-and ready and willing to put my life at risk-well, as they pointed out, nobody died.
I wasn't in the least bit surprised at this news-because Barts is notorious for hiring incompetent doctors, and has been sued on various occasions. Sadly, they don't have the ethics to admit wrongdoing, so it has always been difficult for the victims of malpractice.
Something is radically wrong with a system that rewards its incompetent specialists; something is radically wrong when unprofessional, spiteful, incompetent, unethical doctors can do whatever they want without being accountable to anyone. And the four I've been talking about are proof that some unscrupulous - no, evil, heinous - people are in it for the money, not to help anyone, because clearly they don't like their patients. If they did, they wouldn't cripple and nearly kill them, would they?
I think that Buckland, Grigoriadou, Bright and Longhurst are just out for as much money as they can get-and consultants do very nicely, thank you. They want the money, and the power over other people, and, of course, immunity from prosecution. My friend is looking at me while I am typing this, and said that I should also mention all the casual sex, too. Pardon? Casual sex? I've never heard of that one, but it probably exists somewhere. These four have no chance. Bright and Longhurst look like Mr. and Mrs. Potato-Head. Grigoriadou closely resembles a startled, demented wart-hog. And Buckland-well, he looks like a ringer for the Disney character "Goofy". Why on earth would anyone want to have sex with any of this lot-unless they are blind and senile, or so desperate they would only do so if they put a paper bag over their heads. On second thought, make that a plastic bag. It's one way of getting rid of them before they kill someone. Ewww-sex with the four cripplers? Ewww-even the thought is enough to turn my stomach. Anyway, Buckland is so arrogant and egotistical, he probably has a very, very tiny - well, you can fill in that blank yourself. Men who are arrogant and have ego problems usually - or so I'm told, I haven't done the research myself (yet) - have equipment the size of a peanut. Half. Remind me to write up a questionnaire sometime and go around the pub and ask. I'll bring a tape measure, too - and plenty of backup.
So, you ask, what is the plan? Do I have a plan? Is the Pope Catholic? Of course I have a plan-I always do.
Complaining to any hospital agency or department, or any medical council, is a useless exercise. And the courts don't help, because a barrister friend of mine told me that the big settlements are usually overturned in the appeals courts. So that is annoying. No, the best forum for whistle-blowing-and I am certainly whistle-blowing-is something that has become vital-and incredibly powerful- in the lives of anyone who has a computer: social media. Social media is the way to get all this important stuff out into the world, and the way to ensure that justice is served.
I don't really use Facebook. I have an account, but I'm rarely on it. I'm a bit too busy these days! And I don't have a Twitter account, or an Instagram account, or anything else that will probably bring me kicking and screaming into the year 2015. But I have friends who do-and so do you. Hopefully.
I only just uploaded my first ever video onto YouTube-therefore losing my YouTube virgin status. I know there is a link that can be sent to all my friends via email, but I haven't worked that one out yet. I'm still working on my second video-so technically that would probably make me a semi-virgin.
I went public because someone had to do so-people's lives are at stake. Now here is a question for you: would you put your life, or the lives of your loved ones (children, siblings, partners, parents, and anyone else you care deeply about) in the hands of someone who clearly lacks the ability to listen to you as a patient, who has a history of emotional and anger management issues (that would be Buckland), who clearly doesn't care if he or she cripples and nearly kills a patient? Would you put your life in the hands of someone like that-and someone who has no accountability to anyone, who can do what he or she wants without any fear of having to take responsibility for their actions?
I didn't think so-at least I hope not, because if you are that trusting of someone who doesn't have your interests and welfare at heart, you really have to be very naive. I was; I learned the truth the hard way.
I went public on the blog, on YouTube, only because I feel a moral obligation to those people who have been abused and victimized by evil doctors - doctors who must be stopped, or who must face an independent board - not other doctors, they are like a pack of rats, they all stick together - before these doctors succeed in crippling or killing more patients. And I know that many more so called "doctors" exist, in this country and in every other country. How many other people have had their lives destroyed because the hospital used Gentamicin, a known hideously toxic drug, when other, newer, less damaging and equally effective antibiotics are on the market?
The NHS won't pay for a decent drug if it can get away with poisoning someone with gentamicin. And the equally toxic doctors (like the four cripplers) won't be held accountable for anything they decide they want to do, no matter how unethical it is, until someone steps up and starts a riot.
So, the plan is simple: if everyone who reads this blog is as scandalized as I am - and if everyone has gone onto YouTube and searched for "crippled by hospital incompetence" (I'll post the shorter link as soon as I figure it out), and if everyone then sends links to the blog and the video to ten people, to everyone on their facebook page, to all their followers on Twitter, and possibly to the local newspapers, then we have more than just one person. If we get fifty people, we have what I call a grass roots movement - the start of a movement to create social change, to bring about social justice, to save lives of innocent people who might still believe that doctors are somehow gods.
If we get a few hundred-or, better still, a few thousand-then we have a revolution.
Why should anyone be afraid to speak out? Why should anyone be threatened, bullied, abused, mistreated, victimized, hurt in any way, either physically or emotionally (threats can be insidious things)? Why should anyone be forced to suffer because of evil, unscrupulous people who only have their interests (not ours) at heart? There are people who are afraid of reprisals, and people who don't speak the language (those are really prime targets of these monsters).
We can change the way doctors and hospitals do (or don't do things). We can save innocent people from having to go through what I have gone through for the past five years. We can force changes in the law so that we are all protected-and not just in the field of medicine, but in every other field as well.
Politicians are only there because we put them there. Doctors can only practice if we allow them to practice-and if they are worse than useless, if they are downright dangerous, we can be the ones who get them the discipline they so richly deserve.
Only we can do that-only we the people can do that. We can do that by voting with our feet, with our computers, with our phones and our texts and our emails. WE have all the power; we just don't know it. And we don't need guns, or terrorist attacks, or bombs, or anything that incites riots or creates heartache. All over the world, we are the ones who can initiate lasting change. All we need is the desire and the determination to do what is morally and ethically right.
Anyone else care to join me?
Tuesday, 21 July 2015
Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know
I held that mindset for awhile. What if I left the immunology team that crippled and nearly killed me and found out that the next team was worse?
I wanted to leave the Royal London for five years-but I was so physically damaged for the first three years that I couldn't go anywhere. And part of me figured that the cripplers would be very, very careful in the care they provided. Bad mistake on my part. Screw the devil you know!
It turned out to be a really good week, although we all know how it began. But I sent all the complaints off, and sorted out the immunoglobulin (actually, my former nurse John sorted it all out, so I would have something, rather than nothing). I spent a lot of time on the phone, talking to the delivery people, talking (as much as I could) to the various hospitals, and my friend picked me up on Sunday and took me out into the countryside for a Sunday lunch. We didn't go to the county I've been telling you about (that would be cruel and inhuman punishment), but went somewhere else. We found a little old-fashioned pub, and did a lot of walking before lunch. I walked so much I thought my legs were going to fall off-and I didn't use my crutch, remembering what Tom had told me on Friday.
It's amazing what a few words of encouragement and support can do for your confidence. Dr. Davies and Tom both told me that I can do more, that I can improve more-and I've been working even harder. My other consultants do the same: provide encouragement and support. I wish every doctor would be like that.
Yesterday I went to see the throat specialist. He stuck a tube down my throat, had a look around, and told me that my vocal cords are red and inflamed. Seriously? I have had laryngitis for eight week, of course they're bloody inflamed! Anyway, he was very nice, and told me to try not to cough, and try to be quiet. He wants to do a biopsy just to be sure-but I've got surgery in three weeks, so forget the biopsy. I'm not worried. I strained my vocal cords, boo hoo. No more talking for awhile.
Today-well, today was a cracker of a day. I went to the Royal London to make a formal, face to face complaint about Matthew Buckland to the PALS people (the patient liaison people). I had emailed them, but I wanted to do a face to face-and they were absolutely horrified.They said that the consultants have duty of care, and whether they like me or not, and whether I write a blog or not, it makes no difference, because what Buckland did was an absolute disgrace. I told them that he threatened to have the hospital red card me (ban me from all departments), and they actually laughed. He can't do that, they said. His threats are empty. However, the PALS people don't do empty threats.
Last week I also emailed a formal complaint to the complaints department at Barts Trust (I was really busy last week). That complaint has gone to the compliance department, and between PALS and the compliance department, Bucky's boss (whoever that is) will be notified, and a full investigation will take place. Allegedly. I'll wait with interest to see what, if anything, happens. Whatever the outcome, this will go on Bucky's file for future reference. If enough people have the courage to fight back and complain, then something will really have to be seen to be done.
I was asked if I want to go back to the Royal London Grahame Hayton Unit for infusions. I said absolutely not, that I had wanted to leave there for years, but I wanted to have my reconstruction first. However-I also said that I want to go back on Monday for my last infusions before the surgery. I feel that would be appropriate-and I would be able to say a decent goodbye to nurses I've known for many years. I could also say goodbye to Ania, who is a superb doctor with a great deal of compassion. I've got a lot of time for Ania-and now that she is a consultant, she is leaving to take a post somewhere else. Too bad they can't get rid of Buckland and hire Ania instead. I really like her-and that is more than I can say for some people I can mention!
So there you go, and that brings you up to date. I know that last Monday's nastiness was probably meant to get me all upset, and sobbing in the corner, perhaps having a great deal of anxiety-but that wasn't what happened. I got home, sat down with a coffee, thought about my next move, and went to work. I'm good in a crisis (usually someone else's crisis, though!). Back me into a corner and watch out. Bucky found that out the hard way, I think!
I'll keep you posted on the next chapter of the Grahame Hayton Unit soap opera-but I've wasted enough of my time (and my life) on the cripplers. I set out to blow the whistle, and blow the whistle is exactly what I did-in a very, very big way. Never allow anyone to bully you, or threaten you, or manipulate you, or hurt you in any way.
Fight back.
I wanted to leave the Royal London for five years-but I was so physically damaged for the first three years that I couldn't go anywhere. And part of me figured that the cripplers would be very, very careful in the care they provided. Bad mistake on my part. Screw the devil you know!
It turned out to be a really good week, although we all know how it began. But I sent all the complaints off, and sorted out the immunoglobulin (actually, my former nurse John sorted it all out, so I would have something, rather than nothing). I spent a lot of time on the phone, talking to the delivery people, talking (as much as I could) to the various hospitals, and my friend picked me up on Sunday and took me out into the countryside for a Sunday lunch. We didn't go to the county I've been telling you about (that would be cruel and inhuman punishment), but went somewhere else. We found a little old-fashioned pub, and did a lot of walking before lunch. I walked so much I thought my legs were going to fall off-and I didn't use my crutch, remembering what Tom had told me on Friday.
It's amazing what a few words of encouragement and support can do for your confidence. Dr. Davies and Tom both told me that I can do more, that I can improve more-and I've been working even harder. My other consultants do the same: provide encouragement and support. I wish every doctor would be like that.
Yesterday I went to see the throat specialist. He stuck a tube down my throat, had a look around, and told me that my vocal cords are red and inflamed. Seriously? I have had laryngitis for eight week, of course they're bloody inflamed! Anyway, he was very nice, and told me to try not to cough, and try to be quiet. He wants to do a biopsy just to be sure-but I've got surgery in three weeks, so forget the biopsy. I'm not worried. I strained my vocal cords, boo hoo. No more talking for awhile.
Today-well, today was a cracker of a day. I went to the Royal London to make a formal, face to face complaint about Matthew Buckland to the PALS people (the patient liaison people). I had emailed them, but I wanted to do a face to face-and they were absolutely horrified.They said that the consultants have duty of care, and whether they like me or not, and whether I write a blog or not, it makes no difference, because what Buckland did was an absolute disgrace. I told them that he threatened to have the hospital red card me (ban me from all departments), and they actually laughed. He can't do that, they said. His threats are empty. However, the PALS people don't do empty threats.
Last week I also emailed a formal complaint to the complaints department at Barts Trust (I was really busy last week). That complaint has gone to the compliance department, and between PALS and the compliance department, Bucky's boss (whoever that is) will be notified, and a full investigation will take place. Allegedly. I'll wait with interest to see what, if anything, happens. Whatever the outcome, this will go on Bucky's file for future reference. If enough people have the courage to fight back and complain, then something will really have to be seen to be done.
I was asked if I want to go back to the Royal London Grahame Hayton Unit for infusions. I said absolutely not, that I had wanted to leave there for years, but I wanted to have my reconstruction first. However-I also said that I want to go back on Monday for my last infusions before the surgery. I feel that would be appropriate-and I would be able to say a decent goodbye to nurses I've known for many years. I could also say goodbye to Ania, who is a superb doctor with a great deal of compassion. I've got a lot of time for Ania-and now that she is a consultant, she is leaving to take a post somewhere else. Too bad they can't get rid of Buckland and hire Ania instead. I really like her-and that is more than I can say for some people I can mention!
So there you go, and that brings you up to date. I know that last Monday's nastiness was probably meant to get me all upset, and sobbing in the corner, perhaps having a great deal of anxiety-but that wasn't what happened. I got home, sat down with a coffee, thought about my next move, and went to work. I'm good in a crisis (usually someone else's crisis, though!). Back me into a corner and watch out. Bucky found that out the hard way, I think!
I'll keep you posted on the next chapter of the Grahame Hayton Unit soap opera-but I've wasted enough of my time (and my life) on the cripplers. I set out to blow the whistle, and blow the whistle is exactly what I did-in a very, very big way. Never allow anyone to bully you, or threaten you, or manipulate you, or hurt you in any way.
Fight back.
Saturday, 18 July 2015
Revenge of the pathetic prince of pettiness, petulance-and probably pestilence
I've been getting a lot of feedback-not just about the blog, but about the video, too. Most of it has been very positive. Most of it.
The YouTube people emailed me and told me that a complaint has been made about the video. No surprises there - we all know who did that. After all, I have gone public and outed these four people, made sure that everyone would know the story-the true story. So I have clearly upset a few cripplers. Oh, well. Tough shit. If they are scrutinized, if everything they say and do is watched closely, and if they are held accountable for their actions, perhaps they will change their behavior and people won't be crippled. Or die. My aim is to alert people, to help them make educated choices when it comes to their health and well being.
Perhaps I'm being too naive and optimistic?
I wrote back to YouTube and asked them to view the video, and to pay close attention to what I was saying. I said that I have seven binders filled with documents from the original court case, and that these documents prove conclusively that I am telling the truth in the video (and in this blog,by the way. Seven binders. It's better than weight training.).
I went on to write that what I am doing is in the public interest, and that whistle blowers who are trying to go public and expose people like the cripplers (and their friends, who are, as we know, just as bad) should be protected. Personally, if we can stop even one patient from suffering, we should get a medal.
The worst case scenario is that I have to take the video down-in which case I will just do another one, and another one, and still another one-after all, I need to keep everyone updated on my progress, don't I? I will just change the names. I will give them nicknames. That will be so adorable-everyone knows who they are already, so they will just look incredibly stupid.
Nobody has ruined my week, though. I'm so over them. I've got more important things to do: a glass of wine and a bag of Kettle Chips to celebrate everything I have accomplished this week.
Matthew Buckland, Sofia Grigoriadou, Hilary Longhurst, Phil Bright-I won. And you lost. You didn't beat me, I beat you. And I said I would never quit, would never give up, and would never let them win. I think that calls for a second glass of wine, don't you?
The YouTube people emailed me and told me that a complaint has been made about the video. No surprises there - we all know who did that. After all, I have gone public and outed these four people, made sure that everyone would know the story-the true story. So I have clearly upset a few cripplers. Oh, well. Tough shit. If they are scrutinized, if everything they say and do is watched closely, and if they are held accountable for their actions, perhaps they will change their behavior and people won't be crippled. Or die. My aim is to alert people, to help them make educated choices when it comes to their health and well being.
Perhaps I'm being too naive and optimistic?
I wrote back to YouTube and asked them to view the video, and to pay close attention to what I was saying. I said that I have seven binders filled with documents from the original court case, and that these documents prove conclusively that I am telling the truth in the video (and in this blog,by the way. Seven binders. It's better than weight training.).
I went on to write that what I am doing is in the public interest, and that whistle blowers who are trying to go public and expose people like the cripplers (and their friends, who are, as we know, just as bad) should be protected. Personally, if we can stop even one patient from suffering, we should get a medal.
The worst case scenario is that I have to take the video down-in which case I will just do another one, and another one, and still another one-after all, I need to keep everyone updated on my progress, don't I? I will just change the names. I will give them nicknames. That will be so adorable-everyone knows who they are already, so they will just look incredibly stupid.
Nobody has ruined my week, though. I'm so over them. I've got more important things to do: a glass of wine and a bag of Kettle Chips to celebrate everything I have accomplished this week.
Matthew Buckland, Sofia Grigoriadou, Hilary Longhurst, Phil Bright-I won. And you lost. You didn't beat me, I beat you. And I said I would never quit, would never give up, and would never let them win. I think that calls for a second glass of wine, don't you?
I was a YouTube virgin - now I've been deflowered
And-it was a lot less painful than the first time...but I don't think we want to go there...
I had a bad day on Monday-as everyone knows-I could not believe how unprofessional, petty, vicious and spiteful Matt Buckland could be-and all because I steadfastly refused to toe the line, to allow him to control everything I said, to allow him to threaten me if I told the truth. So I wasn't happy when he put my life at risk only four weeks before my surgery. As my GP said, he wanted to punish me. Instead, he shot himself in the foot. Too bad he didn't shoot himself in the head.
All the complaints are in: to the hospital, to the General Medical Council, on this blog-and there is also a video I uploaded on YouTube, with my friend Dave's help. That was uploaded on Wednesday, and my friends are telling all their friends on social media sites to have a look. They're doing that, bless them. If you go on YouTube and search for Crippled by hospital incompetence, you will see me. If I've told you this before-oh, dear, it's a sudden attack of CRS (can't remember shit).
Will I continue to name and shame the people who so richly deserve it? Is the Pope Catholic? The gag is off, and so are the gloves, and I will continue until everyone everywhere knows what these people really are: dangerous.
After Monday's nastiness, I had a really good week. I was upset on Monday but rose to the challenge, as I always do, by first sitting down and doing some mindfulness work. That calmed me to the point where I could make simple decisions about what to do next. I didn't want to do or say anything I would regret later on. That balanced mind helped me; I quickly found another immunologist, someone who has a sterling reputation, someone who is much, much better than the four cripplers (although nobody could really be worse). Plus a new hospital, so I only have to go to Barts and the London to see my group of really good consultants, the roses. I divided the consultants into two groups because it helps me focus-and it makes me smile. Dog shit - only four members. Roses - six to date, and probably more in the future. I believe that there are more skilled, ethical, empathetic, grown up doctors than there are - well, the ones who are like the cripplers. And I don't think it takes a lot of searching to find them, either.
So I am no longer a YouTube virgin; I have taken the plunge and uploaded my first video, and all I did was tell the truth. Someone actually emailed me today to say they like the cap, and I should call myself the Capped Crusader. That really made me laugh-and laughs were in rather short supply this week. I got a request to do another video, explaining how I feel we should all fight back, and what we need to do. So it looks like I'll be back on YouTube soon, and hopefully I will look younger than a hundred. Perhaps I should wear a mask to go with my black cap.
The very best news arrived yesterday-and I have saved it for last. I went to Queen Square to see Tom, my vestibular physiotherapist. I've been doing the exercises he gave me since I last saw him in March-and even though I have had a nasty throat infection and laryngitis for the last two months, I still managed to do something every day. When Tom put me through the paces-after I told him only about the throat and the difficulty with balance because of it, he still told me that I have come a long, long way since he saw me four months ago. I could see that for myself; there were exercises I could do far more easily than I could do before. When I think of how long it could take me to get near my goal of 90% recovery, I also remember how far I've come in five years. And Tom confirmed that I am not done yet. I will always have to do some eye/walking/balance exercises every day, even when I reach the maximum recovery available-but that won't stop me. And Dr. Davies, who has now retired, and Tom have given me the support and the hope I needed to carry on. It's amazing to note how much a few words of encouragement can help a patient -any patient, but certainly one who has suffered physical damage that is beyond repair. Some people don't care enough about their patients to do that.
So there it all is, and I nearly skipped (I would have done if I was able to skip) home, and called everyone and gave the good news. I'm at 68% now, and it's taken five years-but so what? The brain is an amazing organ, and nobody knows enough about it to be able to say categorically that it won't make the new neural pathways needed to provide another way of recovering my balance and vision. It all could have been worse: they could have killed me, and very nearly did just that. So I'm lucky.
I don't hate the four cripplers. I don't waste my time on that any more. I feel sorry for them-especially Buckland, who is clearly unbalanced and very, very unhappy. Happy people don't do what he did on Monday. And decent human beings don't do what the other three did and just ignore it as if it never happened, as if it was terribly unimportant. In the scheme of things, in the whole picture of my life, these people are nothing. They are unimportant and irrelevant. They are out of my life, and I only want to make sure that they don't do to other patients what they did to me. That is why the whistle is blowing. And what they did will come back to bite them in the ass-it always does, it is inevitable.
I'll keep you updated of any further developments concerning the complaints, and I'll let you know when I do my next video (I'll get the hang of it. What a good tool for social justice!).
As for the pathetic, pitiful, petulant Matt Buckland, Sofia Grigoriadou, Hilary Longhurst and Phil (not so) Bright, if their legal weasels are reading this, I've got a legal team, too-and I'm told I am not breaking the law. So stuff it. I have only a few words for all of you, and if anyone who knows these creatures are still reading this, please tell them the following:
No. I don't want fries with this.
I had a bad day on Monday-as everyone knows-I could not believe how unprofessional, petty, vicious and spiteful Matt Buckland could be-and all because I steadfastly refused to toe the line, to allow him to control everything I said, to allow him to threaten me if I told the truth. So I wasn't happy when he put my life at risk only four weeks before my surgery. As my GP said, he wanted to punish me. Instead, he shot himself in the foot. Too bad he didn't shoot himself in the head.
All the complaints are in: to the hospital, to the General Medical Council, on this blog-and there is also a video I uploaded on YouTube, with my friend Dave's help. That was uploaded on Wednesday, and my friends are telling all their friends on social media sites to have a look. They're doing that, bless them. If you go on YouTube and search for Crippled by hospital incompetence, you will see me. If I've told you this before-oh, dear, it's a sudden attack of CRS (can't remember shit).
Will I continue to name and shame the people who so richly deserve it? Is the Pope Catholic? The gag is off, and so are the gloves, and I will continue until everyone everywhere knows what these people really are: dangerous.
After Monday's nastiness, I had a really good week. I was upset on Monday but rose to the challenge, as I always do, by first sitting down and doing some mindfulness work. That calmed me to the point where I could make simple decisions about what to do next. I didn't want to do or say anything I would regret later on. That balanced mind helped me; I quickly found another immunologist, someone who has a sterling reputation, someone who is much, much better than the four cripplers (although nobody could really be worse). Plus a new hospital, so I only have to go to Barts and the London to see my group of really good consultants, the roses. I divided the consultants into two groups because it helps me focus-and it makes me smile. Dog shit - only four members. Roses - six to date, and probably more in the future. I believe that there are more skilled, ethical, empathetic, grown up doctors than there are - well, the ones who are like the cripplers. And I don't think it takes a lot of searching to find them, either.
So I am no longer a YouTube virgin; I have taken the plunge and uploaded my first video, and all I did was tell the truth. Someone actually emailed me today to say they like the cap, and I should call myself the Capped Crusader. That really made me laugh-and laughs were in rather short supply this week. I got a request to do another video, explaining how I feel we should all fight back, and what we need to do. So it looks like I'll be back on YouTube soon, and hopefully I will look younger than a hundred. Perhaps I should wear a mask to go with my black cap.
The very best news arrived yesterday-and I have saved it for last. I went to Queen Square to see Tom, my vestibular physiotherapist. I've been doing the exercises he gave me since I last saw him in March-and even though I have had a nasty throat infection and laryngitis for the last two months, I still managed to do something every day. When Tom put me through the paces-after I told him only about the throat and the difficulty with balance because of it, he still told me that I have come a long, long way since he saw me four months ago. I could see that for myself; there were exercises I could do far more easily than I could do before. When I think of how long it could take me to get near my goal of 90% recovery, I also remember how far I've come in five years. And Tom confirmed that I am not done yet. I will always have to do some eye/walking/balance exercises every day, even when I reach the maximum recovery available-but that won't stop me. And Dr. Davies, who has now retired, and Tom have given me the support and the hope I needed to carry on. It's amazing to note how much a few words of encouragement can help a patient -any patient, but certainly one who has suffered physical damage that is beyond repair. Some people don't care enough about their patients to do that.
So there it all is, and I nearly skipped (I would have done if I was able to skip) home, and called everyone and gave the good news. I'm at 68% now, and it's taken five years-but so what? The brain is an amazing organ, and nobody knows enough about it to be able to say categorically that it won't make the new neural pathways needed to provide another way of recovering my balance and vision. It all could have been worse: they could have killed me, and very nearly did just that. So I'm lucky.
I don't hate the four cripplers. I don't waste my time on that any more. I feel sorry for them-especially Buckland, who is clearly unbalanced and very, very unhappy. Happy people don't do what he did on Monday. And decent human beings don't do what the other three did and just ignore it as if it never happened, as if it was terribly unimportant. In the scheme of things, in the whole picture of my life, these people are nothing. They are unimportant and irrelevant. They are out of my life, and I only want to make sure that they don't do to other patients what they did to me. That is why the whistle is blowing. And what they did will come back to bite them in the ass-it always does, it is inevitable.
I'll keep you updated of any further developments concerning the complaints, and I'll let you know when I do my next video (I'll get the hang of it. What a good tool for social justice!).
As for the pathetic, pitiful, petulant Matt Buckland, Sofia Grigoriadou, Hilary Longhurst and Phil (not so) Bright, if their legal weasels are reading this, I've got a legal team, too-and I'm told I am not breaking the law. So stuff it. I have only a few words for all of you, and if anyone who knows these creatures are still reading this, please tell them the following:
No. I don't want fries with this.
Thursday, 16 July 2015
The Curious Case of the Cretinous Cripplers
I haven't been idle since Matthew did his little stunt on Monday. I filed two complaints with two different departments at Barts and the London. I also filed a separate complaint with the General Medical Council. And I'm not finished yet.
For the four years Matt has been my immunologist (not necessarily a willing one, but I fired Hilary so he didn't exactly have a choice), he has threatened and bullied me, and told me that if I say anything against his colleagues (the cripplers), he would throw me out of the immunology department into the community, and I would be left to fend for myself. He did that on Monday-deliberately, maliciously, viciously, very unprofessionally, and with intent to hurt me. And he failed-spectacularly.
Matt Buckland (I don't need to put his name in caps, because everyone now knows who he is-or, should I say, what he is) actually set me free. I wanted to leave the immunology department at the Royal London for the last five years. But for the first three of those years I was so badly physically damaged by the gentamicin poisoning that I could barely stand up, let alone start looking for an ethical doctor-one who wouldn't either cripple me or kill me. So I stayed, knowing that as soon as I was able I would start looking for someone I could trust. Matt beat me to the punch: he took the choke-hold off my throat, took off the handcuffs, and took the duct tape off my mouth. He'd threatened me for years, but now I could tell the truth. And tell the truth is exactly what I did. Too bad if he and the other three cripplers don't like it; it's time that everyone everywhere know what these creatures really are: monsters who do and say exactly what they want with impunity, without being held accountable to anyone. And I want that to stop.
I couldn't speak out publicly-but I could start a blog, which I did as soon as I could actually sit in front of a computer and type with two fingers, trying hard to get those two fingers to do what my brain was telling them to do. That was - very tough to do, but I had to do it.
I spoke with someone from one of those hospital departments, and told that person that Matt Buckland was threatening, bullying, intimidating, had (and has) severe mood swings, has temper tantrums, and outbursts of vicious anger-and in front of patients, too. I said that he takes out his inadequacies and frustrations on his patients, is like a petulant child, and should leave all that stuff at home. When a consultant comes in to see a patient, he (or she) should be professional, and listen to the patient, and try to provide help and support. A bad day? Want to let off steam, shout and threaten? Do it elsewhere, not in the clinic. Buckland is unbalanced and vicious, and should not be allowed anywhere near a patient. I said all this to the person in charge, and now the formal complaint is really formal. Even if no action is taken by the hospital, these complaints will go on Buckland's record. The man is dangerously unstable. He's really just dangerous.
I also uploaded my first ever video to YouTube last night. It took me hours to practice saying what I wanted, and I don't think the video is great, but it tells the story. And my goodness, those smartphone cameras might be good for shooting all kinds of things, but I was sitting in front of it and I look like I am a hundred years old. Yikes! I don't need breast reconstruction, I need a facelift! LOL. I did ask Steve the last time I saw him if, since he's more or less in the area, he could do a bit of liposuction on the hips and a nip and tuck on the face. He just burst out laughing.But he has a sense of humor-and for me, I would like a consultant with a sense of humor, not someone who has a tantrum at nothing.
So if you go to YouTube and key in "crippled by hospital incompetence" you will see me. I'm the one with the cap (cancer medication causes hair loss. So a cap it is, until I'm off the medication and my hair grows back. My nod to a little vanity).
Do I hate the cripplers? No I don't. I call them the cripplers because that is exactly what they are-and they know, as I know, that if they had taken the plugs out of their ears and listened to me, and had stopped the gentamicin when I told them to, all this could have been avoided. So they will forever be called the cripplers. I've called them a lot worse in the past five years.
In the beginning, when I couldn't get out of bed, or wash myself, or dress myself, or turn my head without feeling sick-or read a book, or use the computer, or do-well, anything by myself-I felt hatred and betrayal, and bitterness, and fear (fear that I would never get better). But I was able to channel those feelings into doing the vestibular exercises, into doing every movement that made me really dizzy, into walking and falling down, getting up and walking some more. I hated them, but every time I felt the frustration of not improving quickly enough, the hatred pushed me forward. When I wanted to give up, I remembered that Longhurst, Bright and Grigoriadou didn't give a damn. They were obvious about that, too. They left me there to rot. I wonder how many other people have been crippled by these doctors' incompetence-and how many have died because of them. I wonder how many will be damaged or killed before these monsters retire. The mind boggles. And when I was ready to quit, I just told myself that I'm damned if I am going to let these monsters win. No way will I let them win. So I kept getting up, and falling over, and getting up again. I was that determined.
Two years ago, I discovered that I had breast cancer, and that I would need a double mastectomy. This, on top of everything else-very disheartening. But I decided that, since I could die, I wasn't going to die with hatred for anyone in my heart. We all know how destructive and debilitating hatred, bitterness, anger, feelings of betrayal-all really toxic emotions, toxic to the body and the spirit. So I told myself that if I survived cancer I was going to have to dig very deep, work very hard, but let go of all those feelings. I knew that Buckland and his little mates didn't give a rat's patootie, and continuing to grieve for my loss and wish that things had been different wouldn't help either my chances of survival or my ability to love and enjoy life. And up to that time I hadn't enjoyed anything. I was too immersed in trying to survive, and trying not to fall down and give myself a skull fracture.
Writing this blog, doing a journal, these helped tremendously. I also reached the point where I could start to read a book without my eyes going all over (a symptom of vestibular destruction is nystagmus, where the eyes jump around and won't stay in one place), and I began to research neuroplasticity, and I came to the conclusion that, since the brain will create new neural pathways when old ones are destroyed, there would be a chance that I would recover, even if that recovery was partial rather than total. So I worked harder.
I struggled with having to go into the Grahame Hayton Unit at the Royal London for my immunoglobulin infusions. I struggled with having to interact with Matt Buckland, knowing that he couldn't care less about my feelings about this whole thing. I asked him once whether he cared how I felt, and he said that he couldn't care less (his exact words), and the only thing he wanted was to know any symptoms dealing with immunology.Chest infections, presence of pseudomonas or any other bugs, that he wanted to hear, but nothing more.
I have other consultants-and you know their names, because I have talked about them before. They are the consultants who have honestly, integrity, who want to help their patients. They treat me like I am an adult, and they treat me with dignity and respect, unlike the cripplers, who treat their patients like they are something someone stepped in. Everyone else gives me the hope that there are other competent, skilled, kind, compassionate, decent human beings, who have become consultants because they want to help people. The cripplers clearly want to help themselves. My other consultants are professional, and act professional (not having tantrums like a two year old, and not behaving spitefully and viciously with a view to placing their patients lives at risk). Sean, Lieske, Aziz, Tan, Skinner, Davies, Steve- I go and see them and I can relax, because I know they have my best interests at heart. Longhurst, Bright, Grigoriadou, Buckland-they don't have anyone's interests at heart except their own.
We all need to decide what we want in a consultant, and we all need to start opening our mouths if people like the cripplers treat us with contempt, disrespect, derision, condescension. People here don't speak up, and when they don't speak up-and out-they are abused by the monsters. They act dismissively? Tell them you will report them. The General Medical Council won't do anything, because doctors are investigating doctors, and we all know how successful that is(n't). But if enough patients complain, then these people are forced to start looking at the bad doctors-and that is the only way to get rid of them: complain to the GMC, to your MP, to your councillor, to your GP, to the media, to anyone who will listen and spread the word. Fight back!!!
I am relentless in my desire for justice-not only for myself, but for anyone who is or has been the victim of dishonest doctors. I look at my consultants (and I'm sure they won't mind that I've named them, since I trust them and hold them in the highest regard), and the difference between them and the cripplers is the difference between-hmmm, let me work this out-okay, between roses and dog poo. I'll take the roses every time. Wouldn't you?
I want to ensure that the cripplers know that I will not back down, and that they have finally been named and shamed. I want them to know that everyone at Barts-in fact, everyone everywhere-knows what they have done, and how shameful they should feel (even though they don't). I want the four cripplers to know that they are being watched-that everything they do and say is being scrutinized, that people are just waiting for them to make a big enough mistake so they can be called up on ethics charges-and threatened to be dismissed (if not struck off in due course). I want them to know how disgusted all the decent doctors, nurses, patients, administrators-and members of the public-people are with them, especially with Buckland's dangerous and spiteful actions on Monday.
Really, I want the four to be so uncomfortable that they either change their behavior or get out. I know the perfect job for all of them, one that fits their personalities, their ability to deal with people, and their intellect.They wouldn't have to talk to anyone (no change there). They would only need to be able to utter the five magic words:
"you want fries with that?"
For the four years Matt has been my immunologist (not necessarily a willing one, but I fired Hilary so he didn't exactly have a choice), he has threatened and bullied me, and told me that if I say anything against his colleagues (the cripplers), he would throw me out of the immunology department into the community, and I would be left to fend for myself. He did that on Monday-deliberately, maliciously, viciously, very unprofessionally, and with intent to hurt me. And he failed-spectacularly.
Matt Buckland (I don't need to put his name in caps, because everyone now knows who he is-or, should I say, what he is) actually set me free. I wanted to leave the immunology department at the Royal London for the last five years. But for the first three of those years I was so badly physically damaged by the gentamicin poisoning that I could barely stand up, let alone start looking for an ethical doctor-one who wouldn't either cripple me or kill me. So I stayed, knowing that as soon as I was able I would start looking for someone I could trust. Matt beat me to the punch: he took the choke-hold off my throat, took off the handcuffs, and took the duct tape off my mouth. He'd threatened me for years, but now I could tell the truth. And tell the truth is exactly what I did. Too bad if he and the other three cripplers don't like it; it's time that everyone everywhere know what these creatures really are: monsters who do and say exactly what they want with impunity, without being held accountable to anyone. And I want that to stop.
I couldn't speak out publicly-but I could start a blog, which I did as soon as I could actually sit in front of a computer and type with two fingers, trying hard to get those two fingers to do what my brain was telling them to do. That was - very tough to do, but I had to do it.
I spoke with someone from one of those hospital departments, and told that person that Matt Buckland was threatening, bullying, intimidating, had (and has) severe mood swings, has temper tantrums, and outbursts of vicious anger-and in front of patients, too. I said that he takes out his inadequacies and frustrations on his patients, is like a petulant child, and should leave all that stuff at home. When a consultant comes in to see a patient, he (or she) should be professional, and listen to the patient, and try to provide help and support. A bad day? Want to let off steam, shout and threaten? Do it elsewhere, not in the clinic. Buckland is unbalanced and vicious, and should not be allowed anywhere near a patient. I said all this to the person in charge, and now the formal complaint is really formal. Even if no action is taken by the hospital, these complaints will go on Buckland's record. The man is dangerously unstable. He's really just dangerous.
I also uploaded my first ever video to YouTube last night. It took me hours to practice saying what I wanted, and I don't think the video is great, but it tells the story. And my goodness, those smartphone cameras might be good for shooting all kinds of things, but I was sitting in front of it and I look like I am a hundred years old. Yikes! I don't need breast reconstruction, I need a facelift! LOL. I did ask Steve the last time I saw him if, since he's more or less in the area, he could do a bit of liposuction on the hips and a nip and tuck on the face. He just burst out laughing.But he has a sense of humor-and for me, I would like a consultant with a sense of humor, not someone who has a tantrum at nothing.
So if you go to YouTube and key in "crippled by hospital incompetence" you will see me. I'm the one with the cap (cancer medication causes hair loss. So a cap it is, until I'm off the medication and my hair grows back. My nod to a little vanity).
Do I hate the cripplers? No I don't. I call them the cripplers because that is exactly what they are-and they know, as I know, that if they had taken the plugs out of their ears and listened to me, and had stopped the gentamicin when I told them to, all this could have been avoided. So they will forever be called the cripplers. I've called them a lot worse in the past five years.
In the beginning, when I couldn't get out of bed, or wash myself, or dress myself, or turn my head without feeling sick-or read a book, or use the computer, or do-well, anything by myself-I felt hatred and betrayal, and bitterness, and fear (fear that I would never get better). But I was able to channel those feelings into doing the vestibular exercises, into doing every movement that made me really dizzy, into walking and falling down, getting up and walking some more. I hated them, but every time I felt the frustration of not improving quickly enough, the hatred pushed me forward. When I wanted to give up, I remembered that Longhurst, Bright and Grigoriadou didn't give a damn. They were obvious about that, too. They left me there to rot. I wonder how many other people have been crippled by these doctors' incompetence-and how many have died because of them. I wonder how many will be damaged or killed before these monsters retire. The mind boggles. And when I was ready to quit, I just told myself that I'm damned if I am going to let these monsters win. No way will I let them win. So I kept getting up, and falling over, and getting up again. I was that determined.
Two years ago, I discovered that I had breast cancer, and that I would need a double mastectomy. This, on top of everything else-very disheartening. But I decided that, since I could die, I wasn't going to die with hatred for anyone in my heart. We all know how destructive and debilitating hatred, bitterness, anger, feelings of betrayal-all really toxic emotions, toxic to the body and the spirit. So I told myself that if I survived cancer I was going to have to dig very deep, work very hard, but let go of all those feelings. I knew that Buckland and his little mates didn't give a rat's patootie, and continuing to grieve for my loss and wish that things had been different wouldn't help either my chances of survival or my ability to love and enjoy life. And up to that time I hadn't enjoyed anything. I was too immersed in trying to survive, and trying not to fall down and give myself a skull fracture.
Writing this blog, doing a journal, these helped tremendously. I also reached the point where I could start to read a book without my eyes going all over (a symptom of vestibular destruction is nystagmus, where the eyes jump around and won't stay in one place), and I began to research neuroplasticity, and I came to the conclusion that, since the brain will create new neural pathways when old ones are destroyed, there would be a chance that I would recover, even if that recovery was partial rather than total. So I worked harder.
I struggled with having to go into the Grahame Hayton Unit at the Royal London for my immunoglobulin infusions. I struggled with having to interact with Matt Buckland, knowing that he couldn't care less about my feelings about this whole thing. I asked him once whether he cared how I felt, and he said that he couldn't care less (his exact words), and the only thing he wanted was to know any symptoms dealing with immunology.Chest infections, presence of pseudomonas or any other bugs, that he wanted to hear, but nothing more.
I have other consultants-and you know their names, because I have talked about them before. They are the consultants who have honestly, integrity, who want to help their patients. They treat me like I am an adult, and they treat me with dignity and respect, unlike the cripplers, who treat their patients like they are something someone stepped in. Everyone else gives me the hope that there are other competent, skilled, kind, compassionate, decent human beings, who have become consultants because they want to help people. The cripplers clearly want to help themselves. My other consultants are professional, and act professional (not having tantrums like a two year old, and not behaving spitefully and viciously with a view to placing their patients lives at risk). Sean, Lieske, Aziz, Tan, Skinner, Davies, Steve- I go and see them and I can relax, because I know they have my best interests at heart. Longhurst, Bright, Grigoriadou, Buckland-they don't have anyone's interests at heart except their own.
We all need to decide what we want in a consultant, and we all need to start opening our mouths if people like the cripplers treat us with contempt, disrespect, derision, condescension. People here don't speak up, and when they don't speak up-and out-they are abused by the monsters. They act dismissively? Tell them you will report them. The General Medical Council won't do anything, because doctors are investigating doctors, and we all know how successful that is(n't). But if enough patients complain, then these people are forced to start looking at the bad doctors-and that is the only way to get rid of them: complain to the GMC, to your MP, to your councillor, to your GP, to the media, to anyone who will listen and spread the word. Fight back!!!
I am relentless in my desire for justice-not only for myself, but for anyone who is or has been the victim of dishonest doctors. I look at my consultants (and I'm sure they won't mind that I've named them, since I trust them and hold them in the highest regard), and the difference between them and the cripplers is the difference between-hmmm, let me work this out-okay, between roses and dog poo. I'll take the roses every time. Wouldn't you?
I want to ensure that the cripplers know that I will not back down, and that they have finally been named and shamed. I want them to know that everyone at Barts-in fact, everyone everywhere-knows what they have done, and how shameful they should feel (even though they don't). I want the four cripplers to know that they are being watched-that everything they do and say is being scrutinized, that people are just waiting for them to make a big enough mistake so they can be called up on ethics charges-and threatened to be dismissed (if not struck off in due course). I want them to know how disgusted all the decent doctors, nurses, patients, administrators-and members of the public-people are with them, especially with Buckland's dangerous and spiteful actions on Monday.
Really, I want the four to be so uncomfortable that they either change their behavior or get out. I know the perfect job for all of them, one that fits their personalities, their ability to deal with people, and their intellect.They wouldn't have to talk to anyone (no change there). They would only need to be able to utter the five magic words:
"you want fries with that?"
Tuesday, 14 July 2015
My sword is drawn and I'm ready for an almighty battle
I was going to talk about events last week-but yesterday finished that idea.
As you know, I have been awaiting reconstructive surgery since last year-and I am due to finally have it in a month's time. But yesterday, the infantile, immature, unethical Matthew Buckland tried his best to put a stop to that. So now it is fight time. And I will put his name in caps: MATTHEW BUCKLAND. I will explain why...
When I had the gentamicin poisoning five years ago, there was no apology from the three cripplers. There was no taking responsibility for their negligence, their sheer incompetence, their arrogance and egomania. Nothing. So I replaced my then immunologist HILARY LONGHURST with MATTHEW BUCKLAND, who banned me from ever mentioning the elephant in the room (GENTAMICIN POISONING), and also banned me from slagging off the three people who crippled me (HILARY LONGHURST, SOFIA GRIGORIADOU, AND PHILIP BRIGHT). I had no choice but to comply with his demands-he would have tossed me into the community and I would have had to find another immunologist and find a way to get my immunoglobulin replacement on my own. I say "on my own", because my GP has no experience in this area (which is fair enough).
Well...I had my infusions yesterday, as usual, and Matt called me into his office. He was sneeringly condescending and extremely unpleasant as he told me that someone had been doing some research and had found my blog (goody for that). He carried on about how I don't trust him-well, why should I? He bullied me for years, and threatened me, and I was too unwell (from the gentamicin) to be able to find another immunologist and another hospital. So I stayed. And I just kept hoping that next time I had to be admitted they wouldn't kill me. I always felt uneasy-I didn't want to leave the hospital in a wheelchair - or in a body bag - that was how much I trusted them to get it right (obviously I didn't trust them at all). In fact, I have been searching for another immunologist for about a year-but I wanted to wait until I had reconstruction before making the move.
I said that Matt was sneeringly condescending, threatening, very cold and unfeeling-apparently his researcher showed him some parts of the blog, and he decided to toss me into the community anyway-four weeks before my operation. He timed it deliberately and maliciously. And he sat there, clearly enjoying what he was doing. I asked him to wait until the operation was over; he said no, he wasn't willing to do that. What an absolute arrogant bastard he is!!
So I have put his name - and the names of the other cripplers - in caps so that anyone who googles them can easily find them-and they know exactly what was done, both viciously and maliciously. Buckland also accused me of slagging off members of the nursing staff (a lie) and his wife (another lie). So MATTHEW BUCKLAND is unethical, insecure, infantile (prone to temper tantrums, poor baby), immoral, has not a shred of integrity or ethics-or compassion, or empathy-and is also an inveterate liar to boot.
I went along to see my GP yesterday afternoon. Obviously I was in a bad state, afraid that the surgery would have to be cancelled. I'm being referred to another hospital, so at least I will have a better immunologist (I couldn't get a worse one, could I?). I'm also filling out a complaint against Buckland with the General Medical Council, charging him with reckless endangerment. Nothing will probably come of it, since the GMC is comprised of doctors, and they all stick together (like rats). I'm complaining to the hospital, too (ditto-Barts will back its doctors, even when they are bullying, incompetent, negligent and threatening. So Buckland is right at home, as are the other two).
My GP said that I should remove all reference to named people from this blog. I say: hell, no!! I was threatened and bullied for years, and not in a pleasant way-why shouldn't I express my opinion? Why should anyone who has been crippled by incompetent, uncaring, arrogant doctors be refused the right to show how they feel?
My hands are no longer tied, since I am no longer a patient at the Royal London's immunology department. And, really, that is a good thing, because it means that I can finally tell the truth without being threatened by some total asshole whose only claim to fame is a medical degree. These people get away with crippling patients, and probably killing some of them, and they are not held accountable for their actions. And that has to change. Only people who speak out will force that change.
One problem with the cripplers (as identified in caps, above) is that they are so focused on the money they get (at least £150,000 a year-not bad for someone without a soul), they ignore the fact that they are treating people. We are people, not simply bodies who have a list of symptoms that need to be treated. These guys have no heart and no soul, or they wouldn't act the way they do, and they would see that we patients have feelings and concerns-but they are all so cold that they just don't really give a damn. And that should change, too. My other doctors (same hospital, different departments) are very different: they care about their patients, they treat us with respect, not the immunologists' contempt.
So what am I doing? Well, I am writing formal complaints to the appropriate agencies, and my friend Dave has a great idea: do a short video, tell exactly what has happened, and upload it to YouTube. Fantastic. I will be doing that tomorrow, and I will be sharing the link with my friends and all of you. The cripplers can't do anything to me-they've already done it all, haven't they?
I want this blog to be seen by everyone, everywhere-and the same with the upcoming video. It's time that people take their power back from the hospitals and the doctors (particularly the incompetent, bullying ones). It is, in my view, way past time. Doctors may be arrogant, unfeeling, have God complexes and think they are above any kind of accountability-but they aren't. And the ones who are like that make it tough for the really good doctors, the really decent human beings, to help the sick. It is supposed to be about alleviating suffering, helping the sick-not about treating us patients like bugs under a microscope.
Until tomorrow, then.
As you know, I have been awaiting reconstructive surgery since last year-and I am due to finally have it in a month's time. But yesterday, the infantile, immature, unethical Matthew Buckland tried his best to put a stop to that. So now it is fight time. And I will put his name in caps: MATTHEW BUCKLAND. I will explain why...
When I had the gentamicin poisoning five years ago, there was no apology from the three cripplers. There was no taking responsibility for their negligence, their sheer incompetence, their arrogance and egomania. Nothing. So I replaced my then immunologist HILARY LONGHURST with MATTHEW BUCKLAND, who banned me from ever mentioning the elephant in the room (GENTAMICIN POISONING), and also banned me from slagging off the three people who crippled me (HILARY LONGHURST, SOFIA GRIGORIADOU, AND PHILIP BRIGHT). I had no choice but to comply with his demands-he would have tossed me into the community and I would have had to find another immunologist and find a way to get my immunoglobulin replacement on my own. I say "on my own", because my GP has no experience in this area (which is fair enough).
Well...I had my infusions yesterday, as usual, and Matt called me into his office. He was sneeringly condescending and extremely unpleasant as he told me that someone had been doing some research and had found my blog (goody for that). He carried on about how I don't trust him-well, why should I? He bullied me for years, and threatened me, and I was too unwell (from the gentamicin) to be able to find another immunologist and another hospital. So I stayed. And I just kept hoping that next time I had to be admitted they wouldn't kill me. I always felt uneasy-I didn't want to leave the hospital in a wheelchair - or in a body bag - that was how much I trusted them to get it right (obviously I didn't trust them at all). In fact, I have been searching for another immunologist for about a year-but I wanted to wait until I had reconstruction before making the move.
I said that Matt was sneeringly condescending, threatening, very cold and unfeeling-apparently his researcher showed him some parts of the blog, and he decided to toss me into the community anyway-four weeks before my operation. He timed it deliberately and maliciously. And he sat there, clearly enjoying what he was doing. I asked him to wait until the operation was over; he said no, he wasn't willing to do that. What an absolute arrogant bastard he is!!
So I have put his name - and the names of the other cripplers - in caps so that anyone who googles them can easily find them-and they know exactly what was done, both viciously and maliciously. Buckland also accused me of slagging off members of the nursing staff (a lie) and his wife (another lie). So MATTHEW BUCKLAND is unethical, insecure, infantile (prone to temper tantrums, poor baby), immoral, has not a shred of integrity or ethics-or compassion, or empathy-and is also an inveterate liar to boot.
I went along to see my GP yesterday afternoon. Obviously I was in a bad state, afraid that the surgery would have to be cancelled. I'm being referred to another hospital, so at least I will have a better immunologist (I couldn't get a worse one, could I?). I'm also filling out a complaint against Buckland with the General Medical Council, charging him with reckless endangerment. Nothing will probably come of it, since the GMC is comprised of doctors, and they all stick together (like rats). I'm complaining to the hospital, too (ditto-Barts will back its doctors, even when they are bullying, incompetent, negligent and threatening. So Buckland is right at home, as are the other two).
My GP said that I should remove all reference to named people from this blog. I say: hell, no!! I was threatened and bullied for years, and not in a pleasant way-why shouldn't I express my opinion? Why should anyone who has been crippled by incompetent, uncaring, arrogant doctors be refused the right to show how they feel?
My hands are no longer tied, since I am no longer a patient at the Royal London's immunology department. And, really, that is a good thing, because it means that I can finally tell the truth without being threatened by some total asshole whose only claim to fame is a medical degree. These people get away with crippling patients, and probably killing some of them, and they are not held accountable for their actions. And that has to change. Only people who speak out will force that change.
One problem with the cripplers (as identified in caps, above) is that they are so focused on the money they get (at least £150,000 a year-not bad for someone without a soul), they ignore the fact that they are treating people. We are people, not simply bodies who have a list of symptoms that need to be treated. These guys have no heart and no soul, or they wouldn't act the way they do, and they would see that we patients have feelings and concerns-but they are all so cold that they just don't really give a damn. And that should change, too. My other doctors (same hospital, different departments) are very different: they care about their patients, they treat us with respect, not the immunologists' contempt.
So what am I doing? Well, I am writing formal complaints to the appropriate agencies, and my friend Dave has a great idea: do a short video, tell exactly what has happened, and upload it to YouTube. Fantastic. I will be doing that tomorrow, and I will be sharing the link with my friends and all of you. The cripplers can't do anything to me-they've already done it all, haven't they?
I want this blog to be seen by everyone, everywhere-and the same with the upcoming video. It's time that people take their power back from the hospitals and the doctors (particularly the incompetent, bullying ones). It is, in my view, way past time. Doctors may be arrogant, unfeeling, have God complexes and think they are above any kind of accountability-but they aren't. And the ones who are like that make it tough for the really good doctors, the really decent human beings, to help the sick. It is supposed to be about alleviating suffering, helping the sick-not about treating us patients like bugs under a microscope.
Until tomorrow, then.
Sunday, 5 July 2015
A very Clouseau moment
I would never be a good cat burglar-or any kind of burglar, for that matter. I waited until it was nearly dark, figuring that I could get around the corner without using my crutch-so nobody would know who I was. It was like Clouseau meets Gerald Ford. If you remember the former President, he could walk into a room that was completely clear of all obstructions and still trip over his own feet. Klutz is the word.
I was just like that last night. I stumbled all over the place, with my box of fireworks, a small flashlight (just in case), a box of matches, a rolled up piece of paper to use as a fuse lighter (didn't need it after all that), and my phone-just in case I managed to set myself (or anyone else) on fire. I kept laughing, so that didn't help.
It went really well. I put the box in the ground, lit the fuse, and sprinted (well, stumbled) across the road to watch the fun. And it was fun-for about two minutes. There were flashes of light, and a couple of rockets rose about eight feet and exploded. Then there was smoke, and dogs barking. In fact, if someone had called the cops they would have missed the fun. I went home, well chuffed that I had done this at all. No wine, or anything alcoholic, though. I guess I just wasn't in the mood.
It was a bit like-hmmm-okay, the first time you have sex with someone new, it's all about anticipation, and the hope that it will all go well and nobody will fall out of bed or have a heart attack (I never said I wasn't a bit weird). Then you know that it is not only the first time-but it's also the last time, because it seems to be over in a heartbeat. You're lying there, thinking - meh. Is that it? Is that all? Eww. What a letdown.
It wasn't exactly the same feeling, of course-not that I can remember that far back-but it was a case of: well, that was nice, but brief. And why on earth did I bother? And the guy turned out to be a total dork...you get the picture.
So that was my July 4th celebration. Next year I will make sure I get some decent fireworks! The dogs were barking, but I'll bet that they were bored, too. But-at least I did something I couldn't do last July, and I realized as I stumbled all over the place that I will have to work harder if I want to be able to go out in the dark (or semi-dark) without my crutch to keep me upright. That in itself was a learning experience.
And now I am going to make myself a Mojito. I think I earned it...
I was just like that last night. I stumbled all over the place, with my box of fireworks, a small flashlight (just in case), a box of matches, a rolled up piece of paper to use as a fuse lighter (didn't need it after all that), and my phone-just in case I managed to set myself (or anyone else) on fire. I kept laughing, so that didn't help.
It went really well. I put the box in the ground, lit the fuse, and sprinted (well, stumbled) across the road to watch the fun. And it was fun-for about two minutes. There were flashes of light, and a couple of rockets rose about eight feet and exploded. Then there was smoke, and dogs barking. In fact, if someone had called the cops they would have missed the fun. I went home, well chuffed that I had done this at all. No wine, or anything alcoholic, though. I guess I just wasn't in the mood.
It was a bit like-hmmm-okay, the first time you have sex with someone new, it's all about anticipation, and the hope that it will all go well and nobody will fall out of bed or have a heart attack (I never said I wasn't a bit weird). Then you know that it is not only the first time-but it's also the last time, because it seems to be over in a heartbeat. You're lying there, thinking - meh. Is that it? Is that all? Eww. What a letdown.
It wasn't exactly the same feeling, of course-not that I can remember that far back-but it was a case of: well, that was nice, but brief. And why on earth did I bother? And the guy turned out to be a total dork...you get the picture.
So that was my July 4th celebration. Next year I will make sure I get some decent fireworks! The dogs were barking, but I'll bet that they were bored, too. But-at least I did something I couldn't do last July, and I realized as I stumbled all over the place that I will have to work harder if I want to be able to go out in the dark (or semi-dark) without my crutch to keep me upright. That in itself was a learning experience.
And now I am going to make myself a Mojito. I think I earned it...
Saturday, 4 July 2015
July 4th - it's a good day to get arrested
It's only around 82 degrees out there - I wonder if jail cells would be air conditioned...probably not. Sadly. But I am ready, just in case my luck finally runs out.
Happy Independence Day - nobody in the media will say anything about it - obviously - so I am doing my bit for democracy and my country (MY country, not this poxy racist dump), and I have an 81-shot box of fireworks ready for send off. If it all goes to plan, it will be - loud...Yeah.
I know it is illegal to shoot off fireworks at any time other than November 5th. However, this is my holiday, so I really don't give a crap what the authorities think. I did a reconnaissance mission to find a safe (ish) area not too far away. And I found a small area without trees, enough space, not owned by anyone...so hopefully I will not cause any injuries to myself, or any animals, or trees, or anything. People? Who cares, anyway? If they don't like it, they can cross the road. And duck.
I get really grumpy in extreme heat-as you can tell. Grumpy, sleepy, sneezy...I'm like the seven dwarfs. All of them. And it has been very, very hot. Like I said yesterday, there is no a/c. How absolutely uncivilized is that!
So far I have held a firework display every year for-a long time. This will be my first time doing it alone, without lookouts. It cuts the fun a little, but hey, if I do get caught, I will just feign ignorance. Or, better still, racial profiling. Why not? Everyone else does. There are enough rapists, pedophiles, murderers, thieves and other kinds of felons running around free to overpopulate all of Manhattan. And Brooklyn. And Queens (Bronx and Staten Island, too, I'm not ignoring you out there). And everyone has a story: I wasn't potty trained (I was, I won't lie about that); I came from a poor family; my parents beat me (I can relate to that one, but it's no excuse for anything. Ever.). My favorite is: I'm a person of color, the target (victim) of racism. Yeah, yeah, give me some more bullshit excuses.
Here we go: I'm a woman of color, too. I just happen to be off-white. Technically, if you want to be picky, I'm a very light beige. My face and arms are pink from being in the hot sun for more than five minutes, so therefore I'm pink and white-and light beige. I can scream discrimination, too: I'm female, American, a woman of color...what else? Honestly, I get so fed up with it all. And-if I just happened to be a one-eyed, black, Jewish lesbian, I would have so much money thrown at me by the government I would never have to work again. Oh-make that a one-eyed, black Jewish lesbian-with a limp. The limp alone would get me a free house.
So if I get busted for an illegal firework display, the above paragraph is my defense.
Perhaps I should go up the road and set off the fireworks in front of the police station. Now there is an idea. I could use a free house. And it had better be air conditioned.
Happy Independence Day. When it's dark, at around ten pm, it's a glass of wine and I'm good to go. I get to light the fuse and find out just how fast I can run....(and by the way, if any one-eyed, black Jewish lesbian-with a limp-is reading this...oh, well...)
Happy Independence Day - nobody in the media will say anything about it - obviously - so I am doing my bit for democracy and my country (MY country, not this poxy racist dump), and I have an 81-shot box of fireworks ready for send off. If it all goes to plan, it will be - loud...Yeah.
I know it is illegal to shoot off fireworks at any time other than November 5th. However, this is my holiday, so I really don't give a crap what the authorities think. I did a reconnaissance mission to find a safe (ish) area not too far away. And I found a small area without trees, enough space, not owned by anyone...so hopefully I will not cause any injuries to myself, or any animals, or trees, or anything. People? Who cares, anyway? If they don't like it, they can cross the road. And duck.
I get really grumpy in extreme heat-as you can tell. Grumpy, sleepy, sneezy...I'm like the seven dwarfs. All of them. And it has been very, very hot. Like I said yesterday, there is no a/c. How absolutely uncivilized is that!
So far I have held a firework display every year for-a long time. This will be my first time doing it alone, without lookouts. It cuts the fun a little, but hey, if I do get caught, I will just feign ignorance. Or, better still, racial profiling. Why not? Everyone else does. There are enough rapists, pedophiles, murderers, thieves and other kinds of felons running around free to overpopulate all of Manhattan. And Brooklyn. And Queens (Bronx and Staten Island, too, I'm not ignoring you out there). And everyone has a story: I wasn't potty trained (I was, I won't lie about that); I came from a poor family; my parents beat me (I can relate to that one, but it's no excuse for anything. Ever.). My favorite is: I'm a person of color, the target (victim) of racism. Yeah, yeah, give me some more bullshit excuses.
Here we go: I'm a woman of color, too. I just happen to be off-white. Technically, if you want to be picky, I'm a very light beige. My face and arms are pink from being in the hot sun for more than five minutes, so therefore I'm pink and white-and light beige. I can scream discrimination, too: I'm female, American, a woman of color...what else? Honestly, I get so fed up with it all. And-if I just happened to be a one-eyed, black, Jewish lesbian, I would have so much money thrown at me by the government I would never have to work again. Oh-make that a one-eyed, black Jewish lesbian-with a limp. The limp alone would get me a free house.
So if I get busted for an illegal firework display, the above paragraph is my defense.
Perhaps I should go up the road and set off the fireworks in front of the police station. Now there is an idea. I could use a free house. And it had better be air conditioned.
Happy Independence Day. When it's dark, at around ten pm, it's a glass of wine and I'm good to go. I get to light the fuse and find out just how fast I can run....(and by the way, if any one-eyed, black Jewish lesbian-with a limp-is reading this...oh, well...)
Friday, 3 July 2015
Deep fried-crispy critter
Nope-not dead, just deep-fried. I was beginning to think I was the kiss of death for computers, too. Since I posted last time, nothing worked. I felt cursed. That was karma? Screw karma. That was not karma, that was Toshiba.
That was also the fact that I had some unidentifiable throat infection-and everyone wanted me to take antibiotics, but I refused. I take enough antibiotics to fell an elephant; I shouldn't have a single germ in my body. But I did-so I dosed myself on echinacea, and ginger tea, and vitamin C...and spent a ridiculous time in bed, since I couldn't walk without falling over, and couldn't see well enough to sit at the keyboard and type (not that the thing worked anyway. The laptop is less than three years old and has conked out more times than a cat has lives. I would throw it out the window-but I would probably hit someone and get done for fracturing someone's skull).
So, I still am mute. At least I can swallow, because the throat infection seems to have cured itself. But it is hotter than Hell here. Really. It hit the high 70s and low 80s two weeks ago, and the entire country stopped. And this week we had 95F- and nothing worked. I had no internet, no television (not that I watch, it's all crap anyway), and no telephone. I couldn't believe that people went outside in the heat, just to lie on any bit of grass they could find, not worried about turning into crispy critters, oblivious to dehydration, heat stroke and, of course, skin cancer. This entire country will be crippled by skin cancer-and nobody will quite understand why. I did tell you they're all idiots, didn't I? (yes, repeatedly. It's worth saying again. Many times).
I don't go out in the blazing heat and sun. I go out, and five minutes later my skin starts to sizzle. I turn the color of beetroot, and then I peel, and I return to being so pale I look like I am ready for embalming. You can imagine how I detested the heat. I know it's summer, but I come from a civilized country. We have air conditioning!! We also have central heating in the winter, not those poxy gas fires that cause homes to burn down, or electric fires that-well, do the same. They tip over, and start really interesting fires (for you pyromaniacs out there, you would be in your element).
We also have indoor toilets. I remember when I first came over - and that was twenty years ago, and things haven't progressed that far since then. I discovered that I was staying in a place with no radiators (it was the middle of winter). Then I discovered that most places didn't have that thing that I call an absolute necessity: central heating. And no air conditioning in the summer-not that we had much of a summer back then. This year will be discussed for the next twenty years (any good, hot summer is discussed for years. That is because people are so boring). Then I walked around and looked in real estate agents' windows, just out of curiosity, to see how much property cost. And that was when I saw it: a specialist feature was-an indoor toilet. Excuse me?? Seriously?? Yes, absolutely seriously. Even now there are homes (and not just outside London, but in London, too) with toilets at the end of the garden. Outhouses. Imagine having to go in the middle of the night in the middle of winter. No wonder people are so bitchy. They call themselves "hardy": outside toilets, no air conditioning, no central heating...I call them backward and stupid.
Many of them also had bathtubs in the kitchen. I don't really know why, since they don't seem to wash very often. The Brits are not known for good hygiene; dirty clothing, BO, bad breath, rotten teeth...not everyone, of course, but enough. Other Europeans make fun of them for being dirty and slovenly. Of course, the French are behind that (very true) rumor. But we are talking about the French-and the words "pot", "kettle" and "black" spring immediately to mind.
When I first came over, I was so alarmed at all this that I spent a day walking around and searching for a launderette. I did find one-and was I ever relieved. I had this feeling that the entire population of London took their laundry down to the Thames and beat everything on the rocks. Perhaps some did; just try standing next to them on the Underground when it's hot. There is a distinct whiff of sewage. And I am only 5'3" - so I come up to people's armpits. And that is why I never travel on the Underground. I'm kind to my stomach.
So there you are, that brings us to the present, where the temperature is about 85-positively chilly. If I had the energy (or wanted to waste a lot of time) I would go into one of the big department stores -because they are air conditioned to placate the tourists-and stay there, possibly until September.
So tomorrow is July 4th-and I've got my box of fireworks ready to go. If I haven't fainted from heat stroke-or spontaneously combusted-or been arrested for illegally sending off fireworks-I will be back online and on this blog tomorrow. How else will you know what it's like over here?
That was also the fact that I had some unidentifiable throat infection-and everyone wanted me to take antibiotics, but I refused. I take enough antibiotics to fell an elephant; I shouldn't have a single germ in my body. But I did-so I dosed myself on echinacea, and ginger tea, and vitamin C...and spent a ridiculous time in bed, since I couldn't walk without falling over, and couldn't see well enough to sit at the keyboard and type (not that the thing worked anyway. The laptop is less than three years old and has conked out more times than a cat has lives. I would throw it out the window-but I would probably hit someone and get done for fracturing someone's skull).
So, I still am mute. At least I can swallow, because the throat infection seems to have cured itself. But it is hotter than Hell here. Really. It hit the high 70s and low 80s two weeks ago, and the entire country stopped. And this week we had 95F- and nothing worked. I had no internet, no television (not that I watch, it's all crap anyway), and no telephone. I couldn't believe that people went outside in the heat, just to lie on any bit of grass they could find, not worried about turning into crispy critters, oblivious to dehydration, heat stroke and, of course, skin cancer. This entire country will be crippled by skin cancer-and nobody will quite understand why. I did tell you they're all idiots, didn't I? (yes, repeatedly. It's worth saying again. Many times).
I don't go out in the blazing heat and sun. I go out, and five minutes later my skin starts to sizzle. I turn the color of beetroot, and then I peel, and I return to being so pale I look like I am ready for embalming. You can imagine how I detested the heat. I know it's summer, but I come from a civilized country. We have air conditioning!! We also have central heating in the winter, not those poxy gas fires that cause homes to burn down, or electric fires that-well, do the same. They tip over, and start really interesting fires (for you pyromaniacs out there, you would be in your element).
We also have indoor toilets. I remember when I first came over - and that was twenty years ago, and things haven't progressed that far since then. I discovered that I was staying in a place with no radiators (it was the middle of winter). Then I discovered that most places didn't have that thing that I call an absolute necessity: central heating. And no air conditioning in the summer-not that we had much of a summer back then. This year will be discussed for the next twenty years (any good, hot summer is discussed for years. That is because people are so boring). Then I walked around and looked in real estate agents' windows, just out of curiosity, to see how much property cost. And that was when I saw it: a specialist feature was-an indoor toilet. Excuse me?? Seriously?? Yes, absolutely seriously. Even now there are homes (and not just outside London, but in London, too) with toilets at the end of the garden. Outhouses. Imagine having to go in the middle of the night in the middle of winter. No wonder people are so bitchy. They call themselves "hardy": outside toilets, no air conditioning, no central heating...I call them backward and stupid.
Many of them also had bathtubs in the kitchen. I don't really know why, since they don't seem to wash very often. The Brits are not known for good hygiene; dirty clothing, BO, bad breath, rotten teeth...not everyone, of course, but enough. Other Europeans make fun of them for being dirty and slovenly. Of course, the French are behind that (very true) rumor. But we are talking about the French-and the words "pot", "kettle" and "black" spring immediately to mind.
When I first came over, I was so alarmed at all this that I spent a day walking around and searching for a launderette. I did find one-and was I ever relieved. I had this feeling that the entire population of London took their laundry down to the Thames and beat everything on the rocks. Perhaps some did; just try standing next to them on the Underground when it's hot. There is a distinct whiff of sewage. And I am only 5'3" - so I come up to people's armpits. And that is why I never travel on the Underground. I'm kind to my stomach.
So there you are, that brings us to the present, where the temperature is about 85-positively chilly. If I had the energy (or wanted to waste a lot of time) I would go into one of the big department stores -because they are air conditioned to placate the tourists-and stay there, possibly until September.
So tomorrow is July 4th-and I've got my box of fireworks ready to go. If I haven't fainted from heat stroke-or spontaneously combusted-or been arrested for illegally sending off fireworks-I will be back online and on this blog tomorrow. How else will you know what it's like over here?
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