Procrastination may be the thief of time-but depression is the thief of life. Add a nasty case of Covid to the mix, and you've got one doozy of a trifecta. How to give yourself a triple whammy...
In truth, that's what the past two years have been like for me-and probably for most people, too. I'm coming clean with all this because so many people think they've been alone and abandoned. I felt exactly like that-but I've been feeling like that for the past 12 years.
My friend back home suggested - after the gentamicin debacle - that I could help a lot of people if I blogged about my experiences and my recovery. Somehow it all morphed into my feelings about this country, living here, the people, the government (still sucks) - but less about how I was able to cope with the devastating loss of my balance system, my ability to see clearly, some hearing loss, and the refusal of the incompetent morons who let this happen to even apologize. That was exceedingly painful. So I named them all. Several times. And, although some of the heat (hatred) is gone, I still want people to know who they are. Other patients shouldn't have to suffer at the hands of Hilary Longhurst, Sophia Grigoriadou, Philip (not very) Bright-and, of course, the newest addition to the evil trio: Matt (fucky Bucky) Buckland, the spawn of Satan. I said once that Buckland probably beats his wife, shouts at his children (and worse), and kicks the dog. I stand by that assessment.
It has been a very long and arduous road-made worse by the recent tests that show that gentamicin didn't only destroy my vestibular (balance) system, leaving me dizzy and sick 100% of the time. It also affected my hearing and my eyesight. For someone who loves to read (and enjoys going online) that is a tragedy in itself. Gentamicin caused damage to the cerebellum, the part of the brain that governs balance (among other things). Neuroplasticity-according to the neurologist, who should (and does) know, won't help. The damage is irreversible and permanent. You can imagine how huge the blow was.
I said that I was going to order some anatomical wall charts. I've scoured a resource of laminated charts that I can tape onto the walls. Why make it look like a hospital room? Well-my theory is that I can stop and look at the charts several times a day, and visualize my body healed completely. Visualization works on a lot of things-so why shouldn't visualization work on healing the body parts that have been damaged?
Medical science knows a lot of things about a lot of things-but science doesn't know everything about everything.
I should be receiving the charts in a couple of week ( they're coming from the U.S.), and I will be posting them and getting to work.
I'll let you know-if this works for me, it will work for anyone who is motivated to heal. I trust the body's ability to heal most things. Why not this one?
I've spent my whole life hearing "you can't do this, you can't do that, this will never work, you will fail."
Watch me.
