Sex, politics, money and religion

I put sex first-that will grab your attention.

I was always taught not to discuss any of the above topics, because it will only lead to fights. Everyone thinks differently. Well...I've already talked about politics (politicians are the world's bottom-feeders-they come out of the womb lying, and they've been lying ever since). Money: it would be so lovely to have some! Religion? I'm allergic to religion and churches. I used to sing in the Presbyterian Church choir when I was growing up, and that was enough religion to put me off forever.

Every time I walk past a church I break out in hives. Even the Unitarian Church-I walk through the door and I start to itch. What a great allergy to have (in my opinion, of course).

As for sex, it's been so long since I had any, I forgot who gets tied up.

So there you are, the world's biggest contentious topics, all sorted out very nicely.

All weekend I was very down, since it was exactly four years (on Saturday) that I ended up unconscious (and nearly died), thanks to the incompetent doctors. But that is a story you have already heard-several times, probably. I got through it, and when I posted l was trying to make light of it. However-there isn't really any way to make light of some idiots destroying my life. But that doesn't stop me from trying.

Just when I thought I was going to be able to handle things better, on Monday afternoon John (my nurse) called me. I was already not in a happy place, and then he informed me that the sputum sample I left two weeks ago (nice gift for John: spitting into a cup so he could send it to the lab to be analyzed) showed - pseudomonas. Again. Just like four years ago. I know that once the bug is present, it never goes away. But all the antibiotics I take every day should-allegedly-keep the numbers way down. Only this time they didn't.

So where am I? I'm at home, waiting for transport to take me to the Royal London for a two week course of intravenous antibiotics. Again. I did say to John that they will now have another chance to kill me; they failed miserably in 2010. So we will see. And-the building is a new one, just completed two years ago, costing many millions of pounds-would you believe there is something they forgot (forgot?????) to include: wi-fi. There is NO wi-fi on the ward. I am already prepared to get my little self up and dressed and -once they've given me the armful of toxic substances-to walk outside and find an internet cafe. I will be found outside in Whitechapel, wandering around, sitting in Starbucks having coffee. I'm allergic to hospitals, too!

Yesterday morning I heard on the news that Robin Williams committed suicide. I was very upset; I thought he was incredibly talented. Not all his jokes made me laugh-but not all my jokes make anyone else laugh, either. Still, the man was a comic genius. The comedy world is poorer for his passing.

I am still wondering why, with all his celebrity, and talent, and money, and love from family and friends, Williams still chose to end his life. It saddened me, because there have been times in the last four years that the thought crossed my mind-briefly, but when I was unable to get out of bed for the first two years, I didn't think I could survive as a semi-vegetable. And I still get depressed when I suddenly fall over, or I reach for something and miss it entirely-it still gets me down. The difference is that I refuse to give up, so when I fall I get up and swear (and get the bandages, because there always seems to be blood loss).

I see Dr. Dimples in September, and I know he will tell me that he is discharging me from the neurology clinic because I will have come as far as I am likely to go. Well, that's fine for him to say. I'm not quitting. I'm not giving up. I'll just keep bleeding...