And-the verdict comes on Tuesday...

I get all the results of the tests on Tuesday afternoon. I forgot (conveniently) to tell you that...but it's Tuesday.

I didn't think I would be worried or upset-but I remember last year, when I had a bad feeling and it turned out to be breast cancer. I have a bad feeling. Hopefully I am just being an alarmist. Hopefully.

I have been thinking a lot about what I will do on Tuesday after the verdict is in. Actually-I don't know. At the moment I am doing laundry and cleaning my kitchen. Can you imagine keeling over from cancer and doing it thinking-Oh my God, I'm leaving a dirty kitchen!!

I know, these are really weird thoughts to have at the moment. I can, of course, put it all down to being an alien (and an alien with voting rights, how cool is that??). But I am not going to consider what I am going to do until I see Mr. Tan and get the verdict.

Anyone remember the Edgar Allen Poe story about the Pit and the Pendulum? I feel like there is an axe swinging over my head, and I won't know which way it will go until Tuesday afternoon. That is not a great feeling to have-something even Kettle Chips and Starbucks can't help (or a clean kitchen, for that matter).

I know one thing: I will be able to handle whatever comes my way. After gentamicin, vestibular destruction, breast cancer, patella surgery, hospital stays because of severe chest infections-well, I guess I am strong enough to deal with whatever comes next.

I'll let you know on Tuesday.