The Camel: redefined (by me)

You all know what a camel is: it's a horse that is designed by a committee. I wish I could take credit for that-but no, it came from my grandmother, who delivered many pearls of wisdom as I was growing up. That one was when I was old enough to be interested in politics (an interest which lasted about a year, but waned as I became totally disillusioned). Other brilliant pearls include: never volunteer for anything (I only just started to listen to that one. Talk about late!). Always wear clean underwear, you never know when you will be hit by a car (everyone has heard of that one, it seems to be universal). And-wear matching underwear so you don't embarrass yourself in the ambulance (huh?). Another firm favorite: if God wanted us to look back, he would have put our eyes in the back of our heads. Hmmm....good point. But my personal favorite: do squats. Do squats every day, at least 100 squats. That way, you will never, ever have to sit on a public toilet seat. (plus, you will have really strong quads. It's a win-win, isn't it?).

Granny was a very smart woman. And she made the best blueberry pie I have ever tasted. Forget the Jamie Olivers, the Niges, the bake off what's her face-granny's blueberry pie trumped them all. I went to visit her just for the pie-she always baked a fresh one when the grandkids came to see her-so whether we wanted to or not, we went for the pie. And there is the greatest lesson of all time: never underestimate the value of bribery.

The Thanksgiving weekend passed without incident-except that now everyone in the government is fighting everyone else. As usual. The French are peeved with the Belgians, because the Belgians let the one remaining terrorist lunatic over the border-when the borders were allegedly closed. The Russians are fuming at the Turks for blowing up one of their aircraft-which, the Russians say, was on the way to bomb Syria. The Brits have joined that battle, saying that of course, nobody trusts the Russians (ya think?) and they have to answer for the doping scandal at the Olympics. This, of course, has nothing to do with Syria, but the Brits are accusing Russia of drug taking-completely ignoring the fact that they (Britain) came a distant and humiliating third place in the Olympics anyway. To them, even third place is call for celebrations. Now that figures, doesn't it?

Now Parliament is having a debate-and all their committees are fighting to and against bombing Syria. Cameron, the chief dick of Britain, has finally come off the fence and said that Britain needs to join its allies, France and the United States, and bomb the hell out of all the strongholds in Syria. This is, of course, Britain being late to the party, as usual. They only join in after everyone else has done all the work, has taken financial responsibility, and has risked (and lost) the lives of brave men and women who have been fighting Islamic State terrorist maniacs for years. Britain wants everyone else to do the work, and then it will sneak in and say they did their part. And the most annoying part:
we have in this country, a total moron called Jeremy Corbyn, who is the leader of the Labour Party. Corbyn is so against dropping bombs, he has told all his MPs to vote against joining the fight; the voting on this is tomorrow. Corbyn says we should arrest these guys and bring them to trial. I wonder what planet Corbyn is living on-certainly not this one! Arrest them? Try to negotiate? EXCUSE ME? These are monsters who kill because they like it, not for any real religious ideology. What is Corbyn going to do: invite them to tea, and have a chat about ethics while the terrorists shoot up half of London? The man is delusional. Corbyn, sadly, has a lot of followers in Parliament. They call themselves "peaceful", and perhaps they think they can pray their way out of attacks here in Britain. I've got a better definition of these well-meaning but rather stupid people: cowards. They aren't reserved; they are cowardly. And this is where there is a problem, because Corbyn and his idiot followers are saying that no attacks will take place in this country. That is exactly what they said before the London bombings a decade ago. Well, their declarations didn't go so well then, did they?

I've now decided to just keep my head down, and to shut up in public. Stabbings are up, there are guns out there-crime is sky high, although the government claims that crime has dropped. Sure-crime and unemployment have dropped, but the death rate has risen dramatically. Fire engines are being sold off  to save money-and the fire brigade chief says that this is still okay, and that everything can be handled as usual. Tell that to the people whose houses are burning down.

Everything the government does (or, more likely, doesn't do) affects me in one way or another, because I still have to live here, still have to travel, and I refuse to be conquered by fear. Been there, done that-I've lived with fear for five and a half years, and it was the fear (and anger at injustice) that kept me going. So no more fear-vigilance, caution, not swearing at anyone who crashes into me (at least, not out loud), because you never know who is armed. And a lot of people are armed.

Now I've got a question for any readers who are in the USA (and my friends over there keep up with this, so you get to answer): who on earth decided to back Donald Trump for President? Mr. Comb-over, who has a permanent bad hair day (call it a bad hair life-why not just be bald and be done with it?). The man is ignorant. He is a misogynist, racist (by all accounts), an absolute joke who will make us the laughing stock of the entire planet if he got anywhere near the White House, and, let's face it, he is the douche bag from Hell. Who is backing him: Bush supporters?

I consider the possibility of the Donald as President and I get an immediate stomach cramp. And who are these other contenders? And Obama-well, he's such a tool, I will be glad to be rid of him, but we need someone who is strong enough to try to undo the damage Obama's done in his tenure as chief prat of the world. Clinton-let's have a woman President, someone who has balls and will fight for us, not some idiot whose hair will go flying in a strong wind.

I wonder how the Donald keeps his few strands of hair down. Does he use tape? Or some kind of glue? Wouldn't it be more than mildly amusing if there was a debate among the hopefuls-and someone brought a really powerful wind machine? Now that would be a bit of fun! Perhaps he'll give Sarah Palin a second shot as Vice President. Then I predict there will be a mass exodus: about 300 million people moving out of the States until it is safe to return. Yikes??