Tuesday 24 January 2023

Murphy's Law Strikes Again...and again...and again...

Ahhh, the weeks since I last wrote. First, we had a blackout in the area - more than 65 properties had no power. People were freaking out, running from door to door to find out what happened and how to fix it. Did I do the same? Well...no, I did not.

I got on the phone (after I found my trusty flashlight, and patted myself on the back for just changing the batteries at the beginning of the month), and started calling people to actually discover why we all were blacked out and when we'd have the lights on again. I rang the council's emergency number. That was a waste of time. I got a numpty who could barely speak English, let alone tell me anything useful. He said to call my utility provider. More proof that the council is completely useless...

As I was calling around to find out what was going on, my phone suddenly rang. It was the power network, someone who had emailed me during lockdown and advising me that I'm a priority customer and if any power went out, they would contact me. I thought-oh, sure, who are these people and why would I believe them. How wrong I was! They were fantastic.

I was reassured that the electricity would be back on between the hours of 4pm and 5pm. I was asked if I have any medical devices that require electricity. I've got a heart monitor, and it requires electricity to work. So I was told not to worry, that underground cables had broken and needed to be repaired, so the power in the area needed to be shut down. Well-obviously!

I've made fun of just about every service (or lack thereof) I can think of - but I have to say that the power network was excellent. I went around and knocked on doors to tell people that the lights would be back on in about an hour. True to the lack of manners of people in this country, not a single person said thanks. I'm used to rudeness and stupidity, I've lived here long enough to expect it. And the power went back on in less than an hour, and the network both texted and phoned me. I wish that was the kind of service provided by everyone in this country. Sadly-no.

Mr. Murphy and his sodding law decided to reach up and bite me a few days later. I started to fall over-embarrassing as well as painful-as I realized that BPPV had returned with a vengeance. So I had to try to get an appointment with the vestibular physiotherapist to get it sorted. It's easier to get a date with the King than it is to get an emergency appointment with the physio. And for some weird reason there was a massive amount of traffic, so it took me three times longer than normal. There I was, staggering up Euston Road, trying to avoid the idiots and degenerates, rushing to get there in time to meet my friend, a nurse whom I've known for nearly twenty years, to have a cup of tea (desperately needed by now), and catch up. That was the highlight of my day. In fact, that was the highlight of my week (I really do need to get out more).

The blackout, the recurrence of BPPV, and various other annoyances (which, on their own, would be just minor stuff to be ignored. Piled on top of each other, however...) really increased my impatience and my grouchiness. But-today is another day, and I had my pity party over the past few days (actually, the past two weeks), and I'm done with wallowing. It's really easy to wallow-but it has no useful purpose. It wastes time. And, really, who knows how much time we've got? 

I had the Epley yesterday, but it didn't work. Symptoms are back today. Yesterday I was told to do nothing after the treatment, so that's what I did: nothing. Today I've got cleaning to do, laundry to do, and I'll do my best to stay upright throughout. It could so easily have been worse. Count my blessings? I'm trying to do that and hang onto the doorframe at the same time.












Friday 6 January 2023

Vegan January? Alcohol free January? No thank you to both...

 If I'd made any resolutions, I would have broken them already-and it's only the first week of January!

Vegan? No, turkey doesn't count. So that's that then. As for any kind of booze- I don't usually drink anyway. So that doesn't apply to me. I talk about alcohol-but I guess I'm one of  those annoying people who really don't like the stuff. 

Did you know that some people lack the enzyme-whatever enzyme that is-to metabolize alcohol? I didn't know that, either. My GP has been on at me for years to have one or two small glasses of wine (glasses. Not bottles) every evening, because it'll help me sleep-and because it's good for the heart. This is my GP. Maybe she's secretly a wino.

I actually  learned this from a gastroenterologist some years ago; I said that I get seriously unwell after a couple of glasses of anything, I slur my words, I stumble (as if I'm not dizzy enough all the time anyway!). and I sound like I'm drunk-after two drinks. Am I a cheap date, or what? And he explained the enzyme that is lacking in a lot of people who have the same problem. I should be pleased; I'll never be an alcoholic. Kettle Chips, on the other hand...

I've spent an inordinate amount of time being angry-no, enraged-with the cripplers, the morons from where I used to live, the council because they clearly play favorites, and are racist,  incompetent, prejudiced, discriminatory, and abusive. And there's nothing I can do about it.

I approached the Ombudsman-but they can only make suggestions to the Council, and that is where their power ends. I approached the local councillor, who has been great, has taken up my issues, but, in the end, can do precisely nothing. Haringey Council managers are a law unto themselves, and they behave (or misbehave) however they want, without the interference of anyone else. I've reached the end of the road.

I had the chance over the holidays-when everyone else seemed to be preoccupied with Christmas, and New Years, and strikes, and flu, and more variants that could be toxic-to actually sit in the park (in the cold, between the raindrops) to sit and meditate. I just decided that if I want to be happy, I need to let go of the past, and the things, people and events that no longer serve me. It's a good idea, and I'm taking it day by day. Sometimes I'm taking it minute by minute.

You've been with me for awhile, and you know the struggles I'm facing and the resistance I'm having when it comes to change. But I look in the mirror and I think: shit, where did all those grey hairs, the lines, the wrinkles, the sags and bags come from? If I want to accomplish anything of any value-even sharing my challenges with anyone else-I need to shift my little ass and get a move on. Little, by the way, is relative...

This week I have an abdominal ultrasound to see if there's anything there that shouldn't be there. It's coming up to ten years since the double mastectomy and all the cancer treatment. And I think that it took me ten years to appreciate all the things I have: like "life" being the most important one.

Ten years! Some people learn lessons more slowly than others. But we do learn. Eventually.