Beam me up, Scotty!

I said once that my favourite t-shirt says "Beam me up, Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here". No kidding!!!

It's been a few weeks of rain (no surprises there), and goodbyes: I feel like I've been paroled. I've been discharged from all the physiotherapy, and the dietician, and a few other clinics, and I am finally well and truly on my own. Yay. Scary, but a good thing: now I have to continue to do all the exercises and all the other stuff, or I won't get any better. The buck stops here.

People ask me why I take the mickey out of the Brits. Are they really as dumb as I paint them? Aw, yes they are. Read on, blogees, read on and you will understand why my hair is so grey!!

I listen to a radio station that plays a good mixture of old and new, and I like the music, but (there is always a "but") they have competition after competition in the morning, so there seems to be more talk than music. But - for someone to win a radio station mug, for example, they have to answer various questions in 20 seconds.

These are absolutely true, as are all my stories-and I've got loads, I have lived in this country that long. First question: what is the number 66 divided by 2? Please don't screw this up, I will forever lose faith in you! The answer should be 33 (the answer, the DJ said, starts with a "t"). The answer given was --- 12. dim-witted or what??

On another morning-and another caller- the question was "starting with the letter "M". What is the fifth month of the year? The answer was: March. I laughed so hard I nearly spilled my coffee. What can anyone say to that caller-apart from the obvious?

I need to start writing these down, because they simply beggar belief. Is there anyone still breathing who is that stupid? Well--obviously.

And here is the prize I saved for last. It happened recently, and I did manage to write it down, as I was choking on my breakfast, I was laughing that hard. The question was: name the human rights activist and hero who just passed away recently-the name begins with an M. No prizes, guys, for guessing that one. You would have to live on a different planet to escape all the media coverage.

The caller's answer was- Hitler.

Any questions as to why I say the cumulative IQ in this country must be no more than 80?

I rest my case.