Back in the saddle. Again. Ish...

Have I kept my New Year's resolutions? What New Year's resolutions? Oh, yeah, those...well...hmmm....

January's nearly half over, and I've noticed that, as I get older, time goes by more quickly. There is no justice, is there? I haven't given up, so that's one resolution I've kept (so far, so good). As for choosing my battles, and avoiding being angry with the people who truly pissed me off last year-that is a work in progress.

Isn't it funny how we nonchalantly say that we're going to do this or that in the new year, and as soon as we don't, we beat ourselves up about it and give up, thinking that it's no use, we've broken the resolutions we made so why bother?

Procrastination is the habit of a lifetime-so is being angry at injustice (whether toward me or someone else)-as for holding grudges, I could hold grudges for a lifetime. I'm aware of all this-and all the (very rich) members of the self-help brigade say it's easy, but I can tell you from experience that it is far from easy.

Now is the month where diet books come out of the woodwork, and famous people (no names) jump on the bandwagon to tell us how to lose weight fast. Actually, they jump on the bandwagon to make mega amounts of money. Cynical? I am, but I never said that I would give that up. It's part of my charm-quite possibly all of my charm.

Here is how to lose weight, and you don't have to spend any money on all that rubbish. It's free, gratis, and it works. To lose weight you need to expend more calories than you take in. Historically, that's been proven, over and over and over again. So you need to eat less. You don't need to starve, or go on some ridiculous diet (eating only pineapple, or lettuce leaves, anyone?), just eat less. Three meals a day, three snacks (fruit. Lots of fruit-the kind you can recognize as fruit, not fruit ice cream or fruit sweets). And carbs are okay, as long as you don't eat a pound or a kilo at a time. Three or four cheeseburgers? No way will you lose anything eating those at one sitting. You can sit there, and feel your arteries harden.

I'm just being careful. And it takes discipline-the lack of which, you could argue, got you to where you are in the first place. But just do it. And walk everywhere. Walking is the best exercise you can do, and it's free. Want to weight train but don't want to go to the gym? Use cans of food as weights. Pick up anything that is heavy (ish) and do arm raises.

Honestly, I'm meeting an old friend for a coffee, and she is always moaning about how fat she is, and how she needs to lose weight. How do you stay thin? she constantly asks me. What do I say? It takes work, it takes discipline, and it takes avoiding stuffing your face. I've known this woman for about eight or nine years, always hear the same thing, always say the same thing-and for what?

I said that I've probably got the Mother Teresa/Samaritans/big sign across my forehead that says "sucker" in flashing neon gene-but I think that is all due to not having support or help when I needed it. So I have this instinct to help other people. But, guys, some people don't want help. So now (part of resolution number one-or is it two? I forget-and, you know, they say that the first thing to go is the memory), I won't offer assistance to people unless they ask for it. No more activism for me, I happily leave that to someone who is younger. And, probably, more gullible. I'll jump in there for my friends, but strangers-well, I think first and consider the consequences before I act. It's only taken me most of my life to figure that one out!

It took me eight years, but I've gone from nine hospitals to two. Since one of those is for vestibular physiotherapy, I just call it one and a half. Yippee. I don't have to go to one consultant or have one test or scan every five minutes. Brain scans for migraines? Don't brain scans give you brain cancer?

Now I've got so much time on my hands, I don't know what to do with myself. And it's raining-as usual.
So I'm sitting here and thinking about what to do next-like, maybe have a life? Finally? Am I a seeker in search of a life? I'm not quite sure-but right now I'm a seeker in search of Starbucks. And Starbucks, as far as I'm concerned, is a must for everybody's diet. I'm not the least bit biased...