'Tis the season not to be poultry

I've done my due diligence since the last time I posted. I went everywhere, saw everyone, got poked, prodded, blood letted, scrutinized like a bug under a microscope-and decided that I would take a bit of time and think about reasons to be grateful.

I'm grateful that I am not a turkey-or a guinea fowl, chicken, pig, goose, or anything that can be roasted, stuffed, sautéed, fried, boiled or microwaved. I'm grateful that I'm not an animal that can be sliced and diced and served on a platter with sprouts, sweet potatoes, beans, and whatever everyone has for Christmas dinner!

Oh, the way the poor animals are treated-it's almost enough to make me a vegetarian.

Years ago, there was an outbreak of foot in mouth disease, and the BBC showed graphic footage of cattle being slaughtered by the thousands. All over Britain cows and pigs were being killed. You could see piles and piles of dead animals. I wanted to cry. And then-this is a true story, by the way!- the government stated that it was okay to sell the slaughtered animals for human consumption as long as the diseased bits were cut out first.

I can truly say that I have not eaten red meat in this country since then-and that must be 20 years ago. What a way to take care of overpopulation: just poison everybody.

Having given you such cheerful news - especially if you are red meat lovers!!-I actually do have some good news. Fantastic news will be when I am no longer using crutches, canes, or anything resembling a walking stick. Fantastic news will be when I can jump up and down and tell you that I have at least 80% balance. But-not yet, although you bloggees know by now that I refuse to give up, no matter what happens or how many times I am tempted. No quitting for me!

The good news? It probably doesn't sound important to anyone else, although-I need to say at this point that I do not do any kind of needlework. No knitting, or crochet, or any of that stuff. I don't sew. Period. Especially now-there would be a great deal of swearing and blood loss, because I still have trouble focusing on where I want needles to go (out the window, usually).

That is why we have tailors, and cleaners with people who mend your clothes if that is what's needed.
But-I had a button that needed to be sewn back on, and I felt that I couldn't wear this shirt outside without the button, or I would look like a bag lady. I didn't want to bring it to my cleaners-it's only a button, not something earthshaking! So-I found my needle and thread, and decided to do it myself.

This needle was tiny. I do mean, tiny. I could barely see the eye, let alone thread it. And at home you could buy a needle threader, but no such things can be found in this country. Can't see it? Tough, is the mindset. So I sat and worked at it for about five minutes-and, sure enough, my perseverance paid off. I managed to thread the needle, sew the button on without stabbing myself anywhere, and, as the saying goes, Bob's your uncle (I don't know where that expression comes from, but it fits just about any situation, so there you go. Bob's your uncle.). Job done, although I managed to drop the needle and can't find it anywhere. No doubt I'll find it by stepping on it-then you'll be able to hear me swear in Minneapolis.

All in all, the last few weeks-and months-have been very tiring, and extremely traumatic. But I got through it all. I'm either very strong or completely crazy, because I just keep going. The alternative leaves a great deal to be desired.

I'm just about finished with all the doctors and physiotherapists for this year. Everything closes down over Christmas, I'm glad to say! I will have free time-what a very weird feeling, I can actually sit and think about what to do to amuse myself. I must admit I would like to shove an axe in the head of the deranged, obnoxious, psychopathic (and noisy as hell) cretin who lives upstairs. But-that is a nice fantasy. Everyone I know has shared that with me at some point or another. Noisy, rotten neighbours-is that an epidemic or what? I've heard horrible neighbor stories from other people-this nutter seems almost tame in comparison. So that is another reason to be grateful . Ish.

I don't have an IPad, or an IPod, or a Kindle, or a nice widescreen television, or any of that other stuff that so many people have and so many people covet. If you don't either, don't worry. It could be worse. You could be a turkey.