The first cornerstone of life-rocks

Life is unfair. That's it: never expect anyone or anything in life to play fair. Once you get that, you will never be disappointed.

I walked funny for a few days after I posted last time-and I couldn't raise my arms-but that was self-inflicted, since I knew better than to overdo it at the gym, but I overdid it anyway. It might have been entertaining to any onlookers to see me walking like I had a rod shoved up my behind-but, for me-not so much.

I got through all that, happily-and I am on course to do the Race for Life on Saturday. And-I spoke too soon about the computer being fixed, because Outlook has gone down again. Repeatedly. I've got no idea what the problem is. I switched from Internet Explorer to Google Chrome, and felt very smug because I was able to access my hundreds of emails (mostly junk)...and then, wouldn't you know it, the whole thing went pear-shaped. Again. Grrrr...like I said, life is unfair. So I figured out this morning that I will go on Facebook-if I can remember the password!- and just put it out to whoever is reading to see if any computer wizards know what to do next.

I haven't been bone-idle since the last time I posted. I did go back to the gym last week, but I was more careful - and I feel nearly ready for Saturday. I walk a lot anyway-it's part of physio-so I should be able to do 5k easily (it's only a little over 3 miles). But I also went to see Dimples, and he was really negative about the whole thing. Oh, he had to comment, I'm not strong enough, last year I was such a wreck, cancer, surgery, the knee realignment, etc, etc. What if I have a dizzy spell and fall over? What if someone else knocks me over? All those people rushing past me-I could be injured.

True-but people crash into me and knock me over in the course of walking outside my building, so this would be nothing new. If I fall over, I get up again. If I come in last, who cares? The point for me is that I am doing something I couldn't do last year. Four years ago I couldn't get out of bed without falling over. For the first two years since the gentamicin disaster I couldn't go up and down stairs, or even walk ten steps without someone having to help me. I couldn't see; I couldn't read; I couldn't watch tv or go to a movie. I couldn't go anywhere.

It has taken me four years to reach this point, and I am going for it. I went home in 2012-briefly-and nobody knew just how bad I was then. But I went home anyway. For me, that was an amazing achievement. And now I am walking in unfamiliar, hilly terrain-and probably in 85 degree heat, according to the weather people-and, although it is only 3.3 miles (or thereabouts), this, to me, is nothing short of a miracle. And I am going to finish the course. Who knows? There might be people coming in after me, so I won't be last after all!!

One of the nurses told me that I am an inspiration to so many people. That was nice to hear, but I don't think of myself as an inspiration to anyone. I think of myself as being what the Brits call "bloody minded": determined, and, as we say, ornery. I am as prepared as I can possibly be. I leave the rest up to the day itself. We'll see.

Something Andy said in his sermon last week really resonated with many of us: we become what we do. That fired people up - for about five minutes - but it made people think about sitting around and doing nothing, just being all talk and no action.

In my view, I go a little bit further. We become what we believe. I also believe that miracles happen. So this year I will do the 5K - and next year I will do the 10K. I am determined to be off the stick by this Christmas. I will, of course, keep you posted.

I will let you know what happens on Saturday afternoon. One thing for certain: I will give both Kettle Chips and Jack Daniel's a hammering!!