Countdown to catastrophe:voting day is nearly over

There are 50,000 polling stations across the country-some are in pubs, some in church halls, some in portacabins (I feel sorry for the people who have to go to the portacabins). There are 49 million people who are expected to vote. Allegedly. I don't know what happened to the rest of the population...but if all 49 million actually vote, that will be quite a miracle. Apparently, many people are refusing to vote on the grounds that it won't make the slightest bit of difference.

I am not staying up half the night to see who won. I have the feeling that when I wake up tomorrow morning I will find that the steaming pile of crap who is the current prime minister ("call me Dave" Cameron) will continue to lead this country down the toilet for another five years. I suppose we get the leaders we deserve.Cynical? Nope. Realistic.

On Monday I went to Westminster to attend the Citizens UK assembly. This is held every five years, there is a lot of irrelevant rubbish, but at the end of about four and a half hours of excruciating speeches, the three main party candidates are supposed to address the 2,200 people who are present.
It was a first for me; I only took over the social justice team last year. I must admit I wanted to hear what everyone was going to say. Cameron didn't show up-he never does, he sends one of his minions. I felt a bit sorry for the undersecretary of bullshit, or whatever he was. He didn't know how to answer the questions the commentator put to him.

Nick Clegg was next, and he jumped on the stage and proceeded to hit us with a party political broadcast. He said he wants to make this country a better, kinder place...and waffled for a few minutes, and every time someone asked a question he replied oh yes, we can do this. There is a difference between "can" and "will". I caught the difference, and I don't know how many other people caught it too.

We had to sit through so much mind-numbing drivel- and then Ed Miliband took the stage. I must admit I liked him. Surprisingly. I never like any politician. To me they are no better than snake oil salesmen. But Miliband made a lot of sense, and committed himself to change (which he detailed very clearly). When he thought things weren't possible, he said so. And at the end of his presentation, people were cheering.

Sadly, I don't think Miliband will be elected. People are stupid (have I said that before? Only a few thousand times, I think), they don't think anyone else can do a decent job, and they seem to like being screwed over. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know. The completely incompetent job Cameron did over the last five years-and possibly will continue to do over the next five years-will be just another thing to complain about. Americans take action; the Brits sit and bitch and whinge.

So that was my Monday, and I spent the rest of the week doing my due diligence. I have an endoscopy next week (so I will finally know what people are going to do with this lump-apart from give it a silly name). A few more appointments, a few more weeks, and I have most of the summer to actually do whatever I want. Oooh-I get to play. And eat.

Tomorrow I will keep away from the news, I will go to the gym, I will start taking the liquid explosives that will (allegedly) clear the pipes in preparation for the procedure. No Cosmopolitans for me until Thursday. No Kettle Chips, either. No trooping volunteers trying to get me to vote. And no tons of junk mail.

Oh, yeah. Life is getting better. And as long as I get what I need I really don't give a crap who gets elected. I think you can reach a point in your life when you hand the torch (or sword, or baseball bat) to someone else to do the demonstrating. Perhaps I'm being selfish-but I'm fighting for myself and my life now, so I'm stepping down from activism. Just give me a Mojito, or a Cosmopolitan, a bag of Kettle Chips and a lot of old movies and box sets, and tomorrow I will be very happy, thanks very much.