Brexit, Brexit, who's got the Brexit?

I know, this is a very serious business-but Brexit does sound like a cereal-or a biscuit. Have a cup of tea. Would you like a Brexit with that?

Just about everyone on the planet knows that Article 50 was triggered on Wednesday. Now all the weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth is really being cranked up, and all the remainers (known forever as "remoaners") are doing their best to have Brexit overturned. As if...the whole thing seems a bit silly now. For 44 years, Britain has been part of the EU-and now we are leaving. 44 years-that lasted more than most marriages I know (including my own). Nobody-and I do mean "nobody"-really knows for certain what is going to happen when we finally leave. It's driving people crazy.

The most hated prime ministers in a hundred years (or more)- Tony Blair and David Cameron have surfaced like the rats they are to give everyone their concerted opinion. Nobody wants their opinion, they are the odious creatures who caused Brexit in the first place-Brexit and Britain becoming very close to a third world country. Someone needs to give them both a good slap and tell them to shut up. Even the very rich celebrities -JK Rowling, who doesn't seem to do anything for anyone but herself, and likes to pontificate every chance she gets-and Piers Morgan, who was unceremoniously fired from his newspaper job for falsifying evidence and creating a news story that was a complete fabrication-and someone called Lily Allen, who doesn't seem very bright. They're all out in force, and it doesn't affect them, as far as anyone knows.

Until we actually leave the EU-until there is a strategy in place-people should just button it. And the media idiots are nothing less than inflammatory, causing people (who, let's face it, aren't very bright and believe everything they're told anyway) to panic. No panic! Wait and see, people, wait and see.

My news is more optimistic this week. After six weeks of worrying about motor neurone (bearing in mind that I had the feeling that was not the case anyway, so it was counter-productive to give the possibility more time than it deserved-which was none), I went to the hospital and had all the tests. This was on Wednesday; while the press was stirring up hysteria, I was having needles and electrodes stuck in me. I've got the bruising to prove it. I had to wait a day for the final verdict, but the doctor who did the testing said that he didn't think there was any sign of motor neurone.

I had my immunoglobulin infusions on Thursday, and sprinted (as well as I can sprint, given the circumstances) to neurology to get the final verdict. I had a good talk with the neurologist, who told me that I do not have motor neurone. All that drama, all those sleepless nights-for nothing. He also told me that the pinched ulnar nerve I have in the left elbow is getting worse. This, he said, was from years of sports, doing bicep curls (now banned, sadly), and generally abusing my body. He went on to say that constant bending of my arms, elbows on the table, working at the computer-that is the abuse that causes a pinched nerve. We don't realize how delicate the body really is.

I have to see him again in six months, and if the weakness and pain grow worse in that time, he is going to convince me to have surgery. More surgery-what a thrill!! Keep your arm straight, he said: no holding heavy shopping, no doing weights with that arm, etc, etc. So boring. It's more fun to watch the punchups between politicians.

I'll try acupuncture (my friend thinks that might work), and start searching for more alternatives to surgery to fix this problem-and I'll keep you posted on my progress. I'm determined, since I have come such a long way, to stay healthy without any surgical intervention. Besides-hospitals are filled with sick people.

I'm so happy that I don't have anything that will be ultimately fatal-at least, at the moment. I'm being cautiously optimistic that the light I'm finally seeing at the end of the tunnel isn't a speeding Eurostar.

Now it's time to go to Starbucks, my weekly indulgence (sometimes my daily indulgence). I've decided to avoid (as much as possible) the supposition, the conjecture, the inflammatory opinions feebly disguised as "news", and go for a long walk. I can. I must. I'll do my very best not to get run over.