We're here. We brought beer.

Budweiser has arrived-actually, Bud Light has arrived. That is their slogan: we're here. We brought beer. We also had a lot of London's red buses painted an interesting shade of blue to make the point. Personally, with all the microbreweries around, I think that the Budweiser people are very, very brave. And I remember using beer as a hair rinse when I was in college (it was great, and no, I didn't drink it afterwards).

Seeing blue buses-seeing so many buses with advertising plastered all over them (must be hugely expensive)-reminded me of the old Routemaster buses. You can now find them in old movies: double decker, red, no ads on the sides, a conductor (horrors! A conductor!) who had his little ticket machine and who took the money and issued a ticket when you came on board. It was much more romantic then-certainly a lot simpler. Then they discontinued the Routemaster (idiots) and we got all manner of buses to entertain (and frustrate) us. Bring back the Routemaster, I say. And they say: good luck with that. Oh, well. Progress.?

It's been a week of social and political fighting and punchups, and I have finally learned to just keep my head down, keep schtum, avoid discussions with anyone about anything except the weather. That will probably last another week (or maybe a day) and then I'll be back to voicing my opinion. Most of the people in my area don't speak English, so my opinions should be pretty safe.

I'm being bounced out of nearly every clinic-and I've gone from being a professional patient in eight hospitals to being a patient in one. I'm just about (at the end of this month) done with most of the consultants, only to be monitored by a few (very few, thank goodness) either every six months or once a year. I can handle annual visits; it's going to be a question of "how are you? Still alive? Good, see you in a year's time". So I will have lots of time for myself. I'm so used to spending nearly every day at one clinic or another (most of it waiting), I will have to decide what to do next. That is a good thing.

I got very depressed, and very frustrated, knowing that I spent more time in hospital waiting areas than at home. And these last seven years have been tortuous. I nearly quit several times. By "quit" I mean I thought seriously about stopping all the medications, stopping all the hospital visits, selling up and just travelling somewhere, even though I knew that I would be ending my life sooner, rather than later. But I hung on, because I am just too bloody-minded for words. I didn't go through all the pain and suffering to just roll over, quit, wait to die. No, that isn't me at all. So I played the good little patient, went home and punched the pillows a few times (a few million times) in frustration, cried a little, and kept going. I'm glad I did, because I'm coming out the other side. I've got a few glitches, but nothing serious, and I'm really very healthy (finally. For my age, as they have to tell me. Grrr).

I had a small win the other day. I know it's a small one, but hey, a win is a win, no matter what size it is. I held my crutch up and walked about 150 yards, unaided, on a road that had traffic going past me. Did I get dizzy? Once. Did I stop? Nope. Did I fall over? No. That tells me that I am still improving, even though the improvements are so small that I don't notice them. Other people, people I haven't seen in awhile, notice them. That tells me to be positive and to keep going. I might get frustrated and think about giving up, but I only think about it, I don't do it. I think I will put a sign on the wall that says "Never give up". Even after seven years, I must not quit now.

I hope that Bud Light is a huge success in this country. Somebody has to pay for those blue buses (it could be worse. They could be puce).