One Damned Thing After Another

Someone told me that Churchill said that. How right he was! I'd shake his hand and tell him so-but he's dead. One damned thing after another.


I was hoping to bring you up to date last week-but that was another week from hell. I'd been contacted by Colin, who's the one who hung me upside down in the now famous chair. I had an appointment to have it done a second time last Friday, seeing the physiotherapist first. That would have been a bit scary-it was a bit scary, since I had two weeks of severe dizziness after the first time.


But-on Monday, I got a call from one of the immunology nurses. I have to say that I wasn't really surprised, given the state of the NHS. The immunoglobulin that I have been taking every two weeks for the past-eight or nine years, it's been so long, I don't remember (I'll blame the forgetfulness on the concussion. Believe me when I say that I'm going to milk that for all it's worth), is being discontinued. Everywhere. Nobody can get it anywhere in this country. Why? Too expensive. So they're opting for one that is much cheaper.


As you can imagine, I was really upset. I was even more upset at the nonchalance of the nurses, who just said that I shouldn't worry, I'll be fine with it; if this one is problematic, they said, we'll try another one. Cheap is cheap. Ah, "you'll be fine". That's what they said about the gentamicin. And that didn't work out so well, did it? I said that-and I repeated it several times, until I went to the hospital to have my last ever Kiovig infusions. Next time I go onto the cheap stuff. Maybe I should take this opportunity  to make a will.


I even emailed my immunology consultant-who couldn't be bothered to reply. Doctors: so quick to charge, so quick to line their pockets-but so unwilling to even email a worried patient outside office hours. They don't get paid for it. Am I cynical? Hell, yes-but also truthful.


To add insult to injury, on Wednesday all my services went down. No wi-fi, No broadband, television, phone, nothing. I could only message people on whatsapp if I walked outside. I rang Virgin Media, and all their call centres are outside this country, in places where they don't speak English very well (if at all. Cheap labor). I finally got through to someone who did some diagnostics and told me that the router is no good. They'd send me another one, which I would get on Friday.


Thursday I had the frank and open discussion with the immunology team, and my infusions. Friday I went to the other hospital to see Emma, my physio. When I told her that I had a 2pm appointment with Colin, she said that she was going to find him to see if he could do the chair more quickly. Bless him, my appointment with Emma was for 8:30- and Colin did my test before his first patient, which meant that I was hung upside down just before 9am. It all scared the crap out of me-again-but the good thing was that it showed that the chair dangling really works. Everything that had shifted in the fall was moved back again. I could have hugged him, but he would have had a coronary.


Then I had to get back home, and that was no joy. I wasn't as dizzy as I was the first time, but I still had trouble getting back without falling over. That's twice now that I got in the door and congratulated myself on staying upright for the journey-which was very long, since I had to keep stopping until I felt that I could move ahead without cracking my head open again. But I did it. Not only that, but I wasn't sick everywhere. I did ask Colin if anyone had every been sick after being upside down. He said that only one person-out of 200-had been really sick. And he looked a little concerned. I said that I didn't feel sick either time, only dizzy. He was reassured-but still couldn't wait until I left. Just in case!


And the router-ah, the router! Virgin sent me a hub, with no instructions, but no white router. I had to ring them again, and I was told that I don't need a separate router, it's all in one hub now. Thanks for telling me, guys. Only the hub didn't work (I did say that this was the week from hell, and it was just one damned thing after another!!).


So I had to wait until yesterday for the Virgin technician to bring another hub and hook it up-and he waited, just to be sure that this one was working. I went from Wednesday to Monday with no services-and I was really irritated.


Isn't it odd that we were able to go for years without mobiles, internet, whatsapp, social media, Google (I still call it the Great God Google, because I use it so often), and now when the systems are down we don't know what to do with ourselves? Anyone else find that a little worrying?


What did we do when we didn't have all these conveniences? We used the telephone. We wrote letters. We had social contact with each other. It seems like it was a simpler (and cheaper) world.


And I still have this bloody concussion-induced headache, some pain where I hit the floor, and all the side effects that go with a serious head injury. Nothing was broken, but everything was severely shaken, and I'm back to having some of the problems I had years ago. That just tells me to be more cautious, not to do stupid things or take silly risks. I just blame the memory thing on the concussion-or on middle-aged CRS (can't remember shit). Whatever works.


Now it's Tuesday, seven weeks after my head banging episode, and I'm off to Starbucks. I've got wi-fi. I've got Google. Life goes on.