A very strange week, indeed

I did go to collect my glasses on Saturday-and I was afraid they were going to be so heavy (because of the prisms) that I would need a forklift to lift them. No-I didn't look like the character from Harry Potter (the one who has glasses like coke bottles). The things were normal-but I am supposed to be okay with them, and I'm really having trouble. I have a small nose and the things just slide down - and off. It's hilarious-good thing my reflexes are fast enough to grab them before they hit the floor.

I did say the week was strange. On Saturday I went to Islington to check out the Unitarian Church. They were having an International Women's Day celebration (a day late-what the heck, why not). The building was teeming with people. In fact, Islington was teeming with people. I had to dodge some of the people pushing their baby buggies-and the men were the worst offenders. Are these people blind, or what??

I got the chance to speak with the minister, whose name is Andy. And this is where it gets very surreal (read that as weird, very weird). He is an ordained Unitarian minister who was raised Jewish, but is an atheist. And he said that most of the congregation was also atheist. Go figure. How do you have a church with an atheist congregation, and a Jewish atheist minister? Er...pardon????

Now, I haven't been really interested in much in two years and eight months. My only real interest was survival-survival and working to get as much balance back as I could. I was really, really afraid that I would spend the rest of my life falling over, with bruises on my bruises, and alone, because who on earth would want a friend who has no balance, poor vision, and falls over without any warning? But I have to say that my interest in the Unitarians got me out of my fear of going anywhere, and yesterday I trekked over to Hackney to attend the Sunday service at the other Unitarian Church-which has stood on that spot for a hundred and something years. It was a proper church: pews with little doors at the end and all.

It really appealed to me, too. There was no dogma-Andy told me he loathes dogma, and so do I, so we were off to a good start. After a sermon on generosity-that had no mention of anyone dying for our sins, or the fact that God won't love anyone who doesn't believe in Jesus, and all that stuff (sorry, Baptists!), we had a coffee hour. I practically sprinted into the next room so I could talk with some of the congregation. And I heard from people of all ages, all backgrounds, all cultures, all beliefs, and all religions. They all had a common goal: personal growth and evolution, ignoring dogma and concentrating instead on action: what they could do for others, without judging people who believed differently from them. I thought: I like this, I'm in.

So I will go back next week, even though it is a bit of a trek to get there. I think it's worth it. People actually care about other people, about working together to build a better future...I might sound a bit Pollyanna-ish, and I certainly want to speak with more people next week-but I liked the people I met. There was no "you have to come to a housegroup/study group/church every week to prove you are a good Christian, and if you don't and aren't a good Christian, we don't want to have anything to do with you. Unitarians are so much more liberal and non-judgmental- I really enjoyed my Sunday.

I have worked very hard and I have been very much alone while I was trying to survive. I have a really close friend overseas-but she is overseas, and I don't want to dump everything all over her (by phone, too!). So it might be nice to just meditate on a Sunday with people who don't proselytize, or try to recruit me (or anyone else) with such missionary zeal-or who try to engender guilt when I'm not in church each week. Who needs that? I'm not an atheist-but I'm not a Baptist, either. No offense to anybody who is religious-but when it comes to converting me, back off!!!!!

Telling me I'll go to Hell if I don't believe makes me laugh: where do you think I've been for the past two years and eight months??

And so I am back to walking, and back in the gym-nothing to do with Unitarians, but I am finally pulling myself out of the deep hole I've been in since the whole gentamicin thing started. Andy made a point during his sermon that stayed with me (good timing, too). He said that this is the only life there is; live it.