Perseverance is a superpower...

 We made it through Christmas. We made it through three difficult years. The first two-for me, anyway, were a little complicated by Covid, a flooded property, having lung problems, and, mainly, dealing with the landlord, who clearly couldn't care less if I died. 

Imagine their surprise-and obvious disappointment-when they discovered that I'm not so easy to kill. And there's the lesson: perseverance is a superpower. Perseverance. Persistence. Obstinacy. The refusal to give up if there is even a remote chance of winning (and survival).

Every time I hit an obstacle, I get up and keep going, no matter how ready I am to quit. I will never quit-unless, of course, I have done everything I could, explored all alternatives, and realize that I have to stop somewhere.

I look back at the cripplers-Hilary Longhurst, Sophia Grigoriadou, Phil (not so) Bright, and the son of Satan Matthew Buckland-and I realize that the anger and hatred I felt because they were (and probably still are) incompetent and negligent, nearly killing me-I realize that my feelings propelled me forward. I had the choice of being crippled for the rest of my life, in a wheelchair, having to have someone wash me and wipe my backside, unable to walk or do anything of any value-or fighting back. I decided to fight back. They wouldn't win. And they haven't won. I'm the one who's won.

Everyone knows how terrible the past six or seven months have been; my massive mistake was getting involved with tenants who are incapable of doing anything on their own. I did everything, and, in the end, they screwed me over and left me holding a bag of shit (the landlord again). It was certainly a learning experience-never to be repeated.

The biggest catastrophes-gentamicin, breast cancer, lung and heart difficulties, and, of course, dealing with people who have the intelligence of a door handle and the maturity of a two year old-all carry within them some value, something to examine and learn from, something that  will teach us if we only stop long enough to stop being afraid, or angry, or filled with hatred, stop panicking, stop giving up...

I'll be taking these thoughts with me into the new year. I've said every December for the past-I don't even remember how many years-that I refuse to take the previous year's stress. anxieties, fears, angers and basic bullshit into the next year. No more carryovers! I've said that; now let's see if I do it.

I'll keep you updated on my progress. I'm the procrastination queen, remember, so that will be something huge to tackle. But-I've tacked worse, so that's another item for my to do list.

Have you made any new year's resolutions? I always do-and then I break them within the first week-sometimes within the first day (or three). No resolutions, only the desire (and intention) to live life differently in 2023. Use what I've learned. Apply what I've learned. Perseverance and determination.  

I might not always win-but I will never lose.

Happy New Year. Live. Laugh. Love. Be happy. And never, ever give up.