Turning the corner and hitting the wall

I passed the 98 week mark on Saturday - and I really have decided that, once I get to two years exactly, I will have to stop counting. It just gets me very, very depressed. And I have been pretty depressed since I left the hospital a week ago. I should be both happy and relieved; instead, I'm just very down. Perhaps it is a delayed reaction to the antibiotics. At least my veins are both bleached clean and happy to be cannula-free!! Hospitals are not good places to hang around - they are filled with sick people.

On Saturday afternoon, I decided to take myself to the movies; I thought that if I could actually sit through something I wanted to see, I would feel better. I missed nearly all the films I wanted to see in the last two years-so I went to see Men in Black 3-and I pushed the boat out and saw it in 3-D. Amazing-I was able to sit through it without feeling severe vertigo, and I really enjoyed it! Of course, I stood up when the film was over and nearly fell flat on my face! It took me about ten minutes just to get my eyes back and be able to stagger outside. But-I felt a sense of achievement to be able to go and watch a movie at all. That's a good sign; it lifted my mood a bit, which was, of course, the whole idea in the first place!!

I'm not in a joke-telling mood this morning. For one thing, it's been raining - and rain makes the balance worse. I can report that the specialist consultant who is doing the reports for my solicitor told me yesterday that this case is very complicated, that I have (in his opinion) a very good, strong case-but if Barts fights (and he said they would), this whole thing will be very long and drawn out.

It would be much easier for me to move forward if we could settle early - but it doesn't look like that is going to happen.

I'm discouraged, but I refuse to allow myself to be beaten. This mood will pass (eventually). It always does. Meanwhile, I will keep doing everything that makes me dizzy-and see if I keep improving.