May the stork be with you!

Okay, it's tacky, but it got your attention-and more about the stork later!!

I got into the hospital on Monday afternoon-and it took awhile for me to settle in and discover that there are televisions (which didn't interest me, since they didn't have any of my channels) and - allegedly - internet access.

I had a very traumatic time on Thursday, when Sofia the crippler of Barts and the London came by on rounds. You know this bit, because I was actually able to blog on Friday. I couldn't wait to get online-so I paid a pound for 8 hours, and discovered that I couldn't read or write emails, because the machine kept freezing. AND- it took me an hour and a half to write that wee blog!! I gave up in the end.

Talk about simple things being so important-especially when you are in the hospital! Getting medication on time (it was never on time), and having food that could be recognized-instead of mystery meat and something indescribable that must have been made for people who didn't have their own teeth! I will be glad to go home and cook for myself. I'm not Delia Smith-but nobody has ever died. Yet.

That machine had no exclamation marks or question marks - and if you read this blog a lot, you know how I love !!! and ???-really!!!!!!!! So it was very frustrating, to say the least. That was annoying, but not as annoying as having several new cannulae in my veins, which kept breaking. I have very fragile veins, and no matter how many times I tell that to doctors and nurses, they ignore me and succeed in blowing up my veins; I end up with golfball sized lumps and huge bruises. When I get home next Monday I will have to wear something with long sleeves, because I look like I am either a junkie or someone has beaten the crap out of me.

On Saturday I took a little road trip around Whitechapel to see if I could find an internet cafe-so I could actually sit at a computer that works!! They were closed on the weekend, so I was a little grumpy, but I figured I could say I'm taking a walk today, and find a good one and sit and blog. Honestly, blogging is so addictive!! And if I'm any use to anyone else by doing this, so much the better.

Saturday, the anaesthetist came and inserted two cannulae, one in each wrist. That was no fun! By yesterday morning, one had blown my vein in a big way, and my hand was swollen to four times its' size: and hurt? Boy, did it ever hurt! The one in my left hand blew at 6am today, bleeding and leaking everywhere, so that came out. A nurse finally got one into a vein in my right arm, after two (painful) tries. Success at last.

One of the nurses came around this morning and suggested that, if a suitable vein couldn't be found in either arm, they could use a vein in my foot. Ewww...I explained that I am a foot virgin, and I didn't much feel like being deflowered!! You should have seen his face!!! He certainly didn't get it: no sense of humor! And I said that, if they got a cannula into my foot, I would have to shower standing on one leg, like a stork. Not to mention the fact that they would have to bandage the foot really well so I could walk. I suggested using crutches (as if using a cane isn't hard enough!!); then I could walk around Whitechapel and make believe I was in a road accident.

So there you have it: my first week in the Royal London! AND I survived, though I have now idea how I did it. I have prayed to the gods of providence and cannulation that this one lasts until at least Thursday, so that I have (hopefully) only one more to go before I get out of here on Monday. Touch-um-plastic and polyester, this cannula will behave itself. Which is more than anyone can say for me!!