I was a YouTube virgin - now I've been deflowered

And-it was a lot less painful than the first time...but I don't think we want to go there...

I had a bad day on Monday-as everyone knows-I could not believe how unprofessional, petty, vicious and spiteful Matt Buckland could be-and all because I steadfastly refused to toe the line, to allow him to control everything I said, to allow him to threaten me if I told the truth. So I wasn't happy when he put my life at risk only four weeks before my surgery. As my GP said, he wanted to punish me. Instead, he shot himself in the foot. Too bad he didn't shoot himself in the head.

All the complaints are in: to the hospital, to the General Medical Council, on this blog-and there is also a video I uploaded on YouTube, with my friend Dave's help. That was uploaded on Wednesday, and my friends are telling all their friends on social media sites to have a look. They're doing that, bless them. If you go on YouTube and search for Crippled by hospital incompetence, you will see me. If I've told you this before-oh, dear, it's a sudden attack of CRS (can't remember shit).

Will I continue to name and shame the people who so richly deserve it? Is the Pope Catholic? The gag is off, and so are the gloves, and I will continue until everyone everywhere knows what these people really are: dangerous.

After Monday's nastiness, I had a really good week. I was upset on Monday but rose to the challenge, as I always do, by first sitting down and doing some mindfulness work. That calmed me to the point where I could make simple decisions about what to do next. I didn't want to do or say anything I would regret later on. That balanced mind helped me; I quickly found another immunologist, someone who has a sterling reputation, someone who is much, much better than the four cripplers (although nobody could really be worse). Plus a new hospital, so I only have to go to Barts and the London to see my group of really good consultants, the roses. I divided the consultants into two groups because it helps me focus-and it makes me smile. Dog shit - only four members. Roses - six to date, and probably more in the future. I believe that there are more skilled, ethical, empathetic, grown up doctors than there are - well, the ones who are like the cripplers. And I don't think it takes a lot of searching to find them, either.

So I am no longer a YouTube virgin; I have taken the plunge and uploaded my first video, and all I did was tell the truth. Someone actually emailed me today to say they like the cap, and I should call myself the Capped Crusader. That really made me laugh-and laughs were in rather short supply this week. I got a request to do another video, explaining how I feel we should all fight back, and what we need to do. So it looks like I'll be back on YouTube soon, and hopefully I will look younger than a hundred. Perhaps I should wear a mask to go with my black cap.

The very best news arrived yesterday-and I have saved it for last. I went to Queen Square to see Tom, my vestibular physiotherapist. I've been doing the exercises he gave me since I last saw him in March-and even though I have had a nasty throat infection and laryngitis for the last two months, I still managed to do something every day. When Tom put me through the paces-after I told him only about the throat and the difficulty with balance because of it, he still told me that I have come a long, long way since he saw me four months ago. I could see that for myself; there were exercises I could do far more easily than I could do before. When I think of how long it could take me to get near my goal of 90% recovery, I also remember how far I've come in five years. And Tom confirmed that I am not done yet. I will always have to do some eye/walking/balance exercises every day, even when I reach the maximum recovery available-but that won't stop me. And Dr. Davies, who has now retired, and Tom have given me the support and the hope I needed to carry on. It's amazing to note how much a few words of encouragement can help a patient -any patient, but certainly one who has suffered physical damage that is beyond repair. Some people don't care enough about their patients to do that.

So there it all is, and I nearly skipped (I would have done if I was able to skip) home, and called everyone and gave the good news. I'm at 68% now, and it's taken five years-but so what? The brain is an amazing organ, and nobody knows enough about it to be able to say categorically that it won't make the new neural pathways needed to provide another way of recovering my balance and vision. It all could have been worse: they could have killed me, and very nearly did just that. So I'm lucky.

I don't hate the four cripplers. I don't waste my time on that any more. I feel sorry for them-especially Buckland, who is clearly unbalanced and very, very unhappy. Happy people don't do what he did on Monday. And decent human beings don't do what the other three did and just ignore it as if it never happened, as if it was terribly unimportant. In the scheme of things, in the whole picture of my life, these people are nothing. They are unimportant and irrelevant. They are out of my life, and I only want to make sure that they don't do to other patients what they did to me. That is why the whistle is blowing. And what they did will come back to bite them in the ass-it always does, it is inevitable.

I'll keep you updated of any further developments concerning the complaints, and I'll let you know when I do my next video (I'll get the hang of it. What a good tool for social justice!).

As for the pathetic, pitiful, petulant Matt Buckland, Sofia Grigoriadou, Hilary Longhurst and Phil (not so) Bright, if their legal weasels are reading this, I've got a legal team, too-and I'm told I am not breaking the law. So stuff it. I have only a few words for all of you, and if anyone who knows these creatures are still reading this, please tell them the following:
                                                                         No. I don't want fries with this.