July 4th - it's a good day to get arrested

It's only around 82 degrees out there - I wonder if jail cells would be air conditioned...probably not. Sadly. But I am ready, just in case my luck finally runs out.

Happy Independence Day - nobody in the media will say anything about it - obviously - so I am doing my bit for democracy and my country (MY country, not this poxy racist dump), and I have an 81-shot box of fireworks ready for send off. If it all goes to plan, it will be - loud...Yeah.

I know it is illegal to shoot off fireworks at any time other than November 5th. However, this is my holiday, so I really don't give a crap what the authorities think. I did a reconnaissance mission to find a safe (ish) area not too far away. And I found a small area without trees, enough space, not owned by anyone...so hopefully I will not cause any injuries to myself, or any animals, or trees, or anything. People? Who cares, anyway? If they don't like it, they can cross the road. And duck.

I get really grumpy in extreme heat-as you can tell. Grumpy, sleepy, sneezy...I'm like the seven dwarfs. All of them. And it has been very, very hot. Like I said yesterday, there is no a/c. How absolutely uncivilized is that!

So far I have held a firework display every year for-a long time. This will be my first time doing it alone, without lookouts. It cuts the fun a little, but hey, if I do get caught, I will just feign ignorance. Or, better still, racial profiling. Why not? Everyone else does. There are enough rapists, pedophiles, murderers, thieves and other kinds of felons running around free to overpopulate all of Manhattan. And Brooklyn. And Queens (Bronx and Staten Island, too, I'm not ignoring you out there). And everyone has a story: I wasn't potty trained (I was, I won't lie about that); I came from a poor family; my parents beat me (I can relate to that one, but it's no excuse for anything. Ever.). My favorite is: I'm a person of color, the target (victim) of racism. Yeah, yeah, give me some more bullshit excuses.

Here we go: I'm a woman of color, too. I just happen to be off-white. Technically, if you want to be picky, I'm a very light beige. My face and arms are pink from being in the hot sun for more than five minutes, so therefore I'm pink and white-and light beige. I can scream discrimination, too: I'm female, American, a woman of color...what else? Honestly, I get so fed up with it all. And-if I just happened to be a one-eyed, black, Jewish lesbian, I would have so much money thrown at me by the government I would never have to work again. Oh-make that a one-eyed, black Jewish lesbian-with a limp. The limp alone would get me a free house.

So if I get busted for an illegal firework display, the above paragraph is my defense.

Perhaps I should go up the  road and set off the fireworks in front of the police station. Now there is an idea. I could use a free house. And it had better be air conditioned.

Happy Independence Day. When it's dark, at around ten pm, it's a glass of wine and I'm good to go. I get to light the fuse and find out just how fast I can run....(and by the way, if any one-eyed, black Jewish lesbian-with a limp-is reading this...oh, well...)