Just call me Feisty

Another Monday, another week. Just when I think I have the Black Dog housetrained, it reaches up and bites me in the backside!! That is what happened in the early hours of Saturday morning...and I was completely incapacitated for the entire weekend. Couldn't function at all. I wonder if that happens to anyone else??

It was 76 weeks on Saturday. And I suspect that had a lot to do with my feelings of despair, despondency, hopelessness. I couldn't put a name to my emotions-perhaps I really wasn't willing to do so.

I began to ruminate-always a negative thing to do when the dog bites. I thought-well, perhaps if I hadn't blown the whistle on that abusive racist, my car would have been fine where it was and I wouldn't have been in for a shitload of abuse. My Victim Support worker said that I am too feisty for my own good-and my friends said the same thing!!

I have a Victim Support worker-heh. Victim Support phoned me just after the attack. They said they wanted to send me a personal alarm-which is exactly what they did, and it is loud enough to wake the dead. But will it stop a nutjob who is in the middle of a frenzied attack? Hardly!! It will just deafen us both-and probably anyone else within 50 feet. So-I carry the alarm, but I also carry something noxious. I couldn't care less about the police telling me that I would be the one to get done if I fight back with a weapon. I would rather be alive to face the court.

Honestly-what a moronic and archaic system of justice there is in this country! My VS worker told me that a solicitor friend of hers-who handled assaults in court-has just retired; he told her that, out of 500 cases of ABH (Actual Bodily Harm) and GBH (Grievous Bodily Harm) only 30 cases were actually brought to court. Thirty out of 500- well, isn't that peachy! No wonder nobody wants to report a crime. No wonder nobody trusts the police. Better to trust a hungry piranha-at least you always know what it is going to do next!!

I'm going back to the gym this week. I had to take last week off-I really overdid it. I was walking like I'd just lost my virginity (yes, I CAN remember back that far!!). It was not a pretty sight. I'll be far more sedate this week. At least, that is what I tell myself!