Full moon? Or just a world full of Neanderthals??

It's been a full week-so many hospital appointments! Barts is still trying to get out of accepting responsibility for the gentamicin toxicity-and if I stop long enough, someone will probably try to dissect me!

My physiotherapist - Prakash, who has now gone on to bigger and better things (he of the comment that nobody would ever look at me twice because I am on a walking stick and clearly visually impaired), is the person who told me last time I saw him that people are stupid, insensitive, selfish, rude, and have no consideration for anyone but themselves.

I think he's right-not everyone is like that, but, sadly, the morons seem to be in the majority. Today I was walking up the high street and a woman came around the corner and crashed into me. Rather than apologize (God forbid anyone in this country apologizes!), she screamed at me and called me a stupid bitch and told me to watch where I am going. I didn't engage (good for me!!); I decided that she is probably a nutter, and certainly braindead, and could possibly hit me-I just ignored her and kept walking (or, rather, wobbling).

This week it was on the news: 20% of people in this country are functionally illiterate, and 25% of people are functionally innumerate. I wasn't at all surprised, although I really believe that at least 95% are just completely braindead. They have no manners, no class, no consideration, nothing. If there is anything inside the cranium, it is nothing but toxic waste. Neanderthals? That is an insult to Neanderthals.  It isn't just that people don't look: people don't care. They see, but they don't give a monkey's. No wonder a study twenty years ago showed that the average IQ in this country is 80. I look around, and over the last 18 months I have come to believe that that figure of 80 must be cumulative. Really!

Prakash advised me not to engage, and not to be wound up by the cretins who crash into me (and swear at me, like that imbecile did today). He pointed out that they are cockroaches, and why get upset when a cockroach acts like a cockroach?

Good advice! I'm passing that on to anyone who has shared a similar experience. And tomorrow marks exactly 18 months since "the event". I can't tell you how many times I have heard really nasty comments and have been pushed aside or knocked over. My perspective, my feelings about the innate goodness of people - these are changing drastically. For a born optimist, I have become incredibly cynical. I prefer dogs to people, that's for sure!!

I've been ruminating all week - as you do when there isn't that much you can do! Regardless of my sadness at the behavior of people in general, I somehow believe there are good people out there, and I figure that I won't meet any of those until I get out and start living. For 18 months, life has been all about symptoms, illness, exercises, anger, bitterness, anxiety-and fear. In the beginning, I couldn't even wash myself without assistance. I can only imagine how old people who are completely dependent on carers must feel.

So it has been 18 months. Next week I will see the neurologist (Dr.Dimples), and see what he has to say about the fact that the Neurology Hospital people tell me that I have about 50% of my abilities, and will not get any more back. As long as I can pick up items once I've dropped them, and as long as I can cook on a gas hob without setting fire to either myself or the building, they figure their job is done. I have to live out my life this way.

Well - that is what they say. We'll see who is right. I'm not giving up. The fat lady hasn't sung yet.

I have to admit that people like that ignorant cow who cursed at me today do still get me down, though. I need to work on the impulse to turn around and smack them with my stick!