Back from the (walking) dead

I know that sounds so dramatic!! I have had the nastiest flu for the past week-the usual symptoms: headache, fever, joint pains, etc. If you've had it (and just about everyone has), you will know what I mean. So I have been in bed, complaining (I am the world's worst patient: some people want to be left alone, I want to complain!).

I did go to see the consultant at Whitechapel on Wednesday, the day the flu really came out. And I also had to go to Stanmore yesterday for all the pre-admission testing, since my bionic knee surgery is scheduled for the first week in January. So-that is a rather neat intro into my observations about doctors.

Vast experience tells me that many (perhaps all) doctors have three genes that most of us lack. The first is the "I must be at LEAST forty minutes late for my appointments, because that makes me feel important". Perhaps it's a gene; perhaps it's a virus. Whatever. In all my years in this country, I have never known a doctor to be on time. Really! I'll bet it's the same everywhere.

There is also the apology gene: no matter how late the doctor is, he (or she) must never apologize - not for being late, or for screwing up and crippling a patient, nope. Never apologize. That is a sign of good manners, after all, and so many doctors think they are God, so why apologize for being an insensitive jerk??

Then there is the "when in doubt, medicate" gene. Never allow a patient to leave the office without at least one prescription. It might be the WRONG prescription, but, hey, it's a prescription. Do doctors have some quota to fill, or do they just feel that they are making the patient feel that they have been properly cared for (having been kept waiting for at least forty minutes!)??

At the Royal London last week, I was coughing so much I could feel my face turning beet red-I thought I would cough until I expired. And all Matt said was: how are you feeling? What? How the hell do you think I'm feeling? I was starting to develop all the symptoms of flu-just flu, I thought (sometimes we can diagnose ourselves better than anyone else can), and he decided that I have an inflammation (yes, you idiot, and it's caused by flu!!!), so I should take oral steroids for a week (I didn't). I know that Barts wants me to change hospitals, but please do NOT kill me off (at least, not until after I sue your behinds in court).

So yesterday, I went to Stanmore and had the usual tests before admission: an xray, ECG, and some bloodwork (which was hilarious, because the nurses couldn't find a vein if it was the size of the motorway). I then saw the anesthetist, who kept me waiting-yes, you guessed it, forty minutes!!! There was nobody in his office, and nobody else waiting, but he still kept me sitting outside for forty minutes, and then came out and told me that he was going to go get my chart.

So what was he doing for forty minutes in his office, keeping me waiting outside (no apology, naturally)? I don't know, but I certainly hope he washed his hands afterward. Heh. Ewwwwwww....!!!

Never mind-I don't even want to think about that! All I know is, I still have the head cold part of this flu, but I haven't been to the gym, and I have felt too dreadful to do my exercises-so my balance and vision have both really suffered. Time to get moving and regain some of what I lost by being sick.

It's interesting that I would have been devastated (and very depressed) if this had happened six months ago; I would have thought I would never get that bit back-but now I understand that I just have to persevere, flu or no flu. So that is exactly what I am going to do: persevere, and go back what I temporarily lost-that, and more.

You'll have to excuse me while I go outside and cough all over everyone!!!