The origin of the light

For years I've been saying that the light at the end of the tunnel has to be an oncoming express train-such is my luck, if my ship was coming in, it was probably the Titanic. Needless to say, I have always been a glass half empty person, masquerading as a glass half full person!!

It's Christmas-AGAIN- and it always seems to come around so much more quickly than it did when I was growing up!! Funny thing, that...

I speak to people and I get the same messages over and over again, so I know that I am supposed to finally get it: offload, clear out the storage unit, clear out all the old stuff I will never use again-and that includes some pretty negative thoughts.

I had to call the noise people last night-again-and the police rang me yesterday afternoon, because they want to come and see me this afternoon to make a report about the wack job who lives upstairs. Goody. Will anything be done? Probably the same thing that  has been done all along: nothing. In this country, you have to be murdered-in front of witnesses-for the police to take any action. They like to do the beating themselves. Am I a total cynic? Hey, I've spent more than half my life in this country-so yes, I am.

I promised myself last year that I would not only get moving on clearing out all the stuff in the storage unit (like NJ says, who needs six woks??), but also the old ways of thinking. And I also promised myself that I would jettison all the people who are - well - total tossers. I don't need negative people around me, I'm negative enough as it is!!! But-I'm working on that.

It has occurred to me lately that I am so lucky to have made it this far; I should have been dead years ago. CVID, cancer, now Ehlers-Danlos (there is a question in my mind about the severity of that one), and bilateral vestibular hypofunction...that has been an awful lot to handle. And I have handled it all pretty well, I think. I just keep getting up every time I get knocked down-and that's a lot. I just refuse to stay down, and refuse to roll over.

My lawyer called me to tell me that Bart's insists that they followed the Trust's protocol, and did nothing wrong. I instructed her to ask them if following the protocol includes ignoring all the symptoms of gentamicin poisoning, even when the patient is clearly exhibiting severe symptoms-and is asking to be taken off the drug. Needless to say, there was hesitation on the line. If Bart's wants a battle, they have one. And, because the laws in this country are so retarded (like a lot of the people!), hospitals everywhere get away with the most horrendous cases of obvious malpractice. I'm not alone there, not by a long shot. But I seem to be different from so many other people who have been abused by the NHS: I won't give up. I will raise a stink that Bart's will never forget, and I will go public: I'll contact every newspaper, television station, anyone else I can think of, because someone has to have the cojones to do it. That would be me. Again. As usual.

And so it is Christmas, and everything will be closed tomorrow; apart from turkey, and all the goodies that go with it-not to mention some really good wine- for me, it's business as usual. And no hospital appointments until January!!! That is a good enough reason to celebrate.

And, by the way, it's raining. It's been like a monsoon. But that is nothing new here. I walk in the rain anyway. I've come that far in two years!!

Merry Christmas to you all, eat, drink, be merry-mostly eat. And drink...And eat some more. And drink some more. Live it up; nobody knows what is around the corner!!

See you Thursday-possibly hung over!!