If you win the rat race - you're still a rat!

Am I growing grumpier as I get older, or am I just a bit fed up with old sayings and platitudes that mean nothing? I get all this old crap from one of the nurses at the London: remember, God never gives you more than you can handle. That's a good example; I want to slap her sideways and say "handle this!!". But I'm not a hitter; I just think it, I never do it. I have to say, it is so tempting sometimes, though!!

Then there is that other ridiculous saying that people trot out when you are in deep doodoo-and they probably have never seen deep doodoo, not to mention ever having found themselves in it up to the eyeballs: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Ewwww...really? Who said that, anyway? Someone dead, probably.

I've had this wretched flu for ten days, and I'm still coughing, spluttering, sneezing, and my voice has gone very deep (I wish I could keep the deep voice but get rid of all the other stuff. I always wanted a deep voice, like Lauren Bacall. Nope-only when I'm sick. There is no fairness in life). When I went along to the hospital last week (the Royal London. Where else are people so incompetent?), I was coughing so hard, you could hear me all the way down the corridor. I thought I was going to burst a blood vessel, that is how hard I was coughing. And don't you know, the same nurse (Lorena, she of the constant platitudes-as above- a real idiot if there ever was one) ignored me for about twenty minutes, and then, as she was passing me, smiled and said "oh, hello, how are you today?". I just looked at her and said "how do you think I am?" I was able to resist telling her that if she couldn't tell by my coughing and choking, she should change jobs-but I resisted, because there could come a day when she is the one who will take my blood. And, as far as I am concerned, Hell will freeze over before I will ever let that happen!!

The longer I remain here, the more irascible I seem to become. I know I should be looking on the bright side-but sometimes it is very difficult to find a bright side!!

I put this down to the fact that we are nearing the end of another year-and I always get disgruntled at Christmas, because it was at Christmas that I decided I'd had enough, and I wanted a divorce. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who decided at Christmas that enough was enough, and it was time to beat it out of Dodge. It hasn't been easy-but it beats the hell out of being abused and miserable.

'Tis the season to be grumpy. But-I'm still here, and I'm not planning on checking out any time soon. I want to be around for a very long time-and be a pain in the ass to everyone who deserves it!!