If it's Tuesday, or Wednesday, or Thursday...guess what!!

Aww, you guessed: it rained. All December it rained, and we began the new year-and it rained!!

You will laugh at this- I mean, you will really laugh! I've had so many horrendous years in a row (ten, in fact), I decided that I would end 2012 and begin a new era with some champagne - expensive champagne. No point in celebrating with the cheap stuff.

Now-by "cheap stuff", I mean you get what you pay for, and you end up asking if it's champagne or dishwater...and by expensive stuff, I mean: "Oh, my God, HOW much did you spend???". Good job I'm divorced: if I want to have a blowout on New Year's Eve, I can do what I want.

I had three glasses of champagne. That's all: three glasses. And I was stumbling all over the place afterwards-but I've been stumbling a lot because of the rain anyway, so who would know the difference? And I didn't follow the cardinal rule of drinking: always have as much water as you can before you go to bed. Nope-a good piece of advice that I ignored. Well, I don't drink very much, and I don't drink very often, and I can usually have three glasses of good champagne and not feel any aftereffects.

I woke up at 4:30 on New Year's Day-and I had to go drink a few glasses of water, because I had the worst headache I have had in years. I also had a very dodgy stomach. So-I had to laugh, because I clearly had a hangover. I drank three glasses of champagne and had a hangover. Who has a hangover from three glasses of champagne? Well, obviously, I do-because I did. And it was nasty.

I took some headache pills, went back to bed, got up at 6am. With a hangover. And I couldn't stop laughing-which didn't help my head any. I would be a very cheap date: two or three drinks and I'm not under the table, I'm under the floor.

I wanted to share this with anyone who woke on Tuesday with a thumping hangover, because I hurt in sympathy. By 11am I felt fine-just a bit queasy.

I did say that I intend to start 2013 with a different mindset. I started it off with a bang-or a thump, depending on how you look at it. And-it was raining (no surprises there), so I got my umbrella, layered up and went for a long walk. Long, of course, is a relative term. I walked for about 35 minutes, and decided that I was both cold enough and wet enough, and I went home. And did laundry. And cleaned the kitchen.
Isn't that what holidays are for?

One active - or proactive - decision that I made last year (on Monday) was that I didn't need to feel defeat or resignation at the things that have happened-and that I can't change. I needed to flick a mind switch and change my attitude-or I would suffer endlessly, and the other people involved wouldn't give a damn.

What could I do about that deranged cockroach (that's a nasty description, but apt, and it makes me feel better, so I'm keeping it!) upstairs? I couldn't beat him (shit splatters), or kill him (not worth a prison sentence), and hoping he will move or die soon is more than a little bit negative. Nobody will help-but the council isn't exactly useful when it comes to crazed neighbors, since they put him there in the first place.

So-yesterday I ordered 3M foam earplugs. I've had them every time I've had an MRI, and they really do cut the noise. So I should get them this week at some point. One of the nurses said she uses silicone earplugs because she works nights-and she said they are great. Well-I tried them. Now, if you have ears like Will Smith or Prince Charles, silicone earplugs might be okay. But they don't work for me, because they fall out. Immediately. Very annoying. How can I keep them in my ears unless I use duct tape? Can you imagine having to call the paramedics because I've taped silicone earplugs into my ears with duct tape and the stuff got stuck? Now, THAT would be hilarious. I giggle just thinking about it-and I'm in an internet cafe, because my eyesight still isn't good enough for me to use my little laptop at home. I need to use a big screen.

I also bought a white noise machine, so I'm armed (and dangerous. Mostly, I'm dangerous). This thing is called a Marsona, and it fits on the bedside table, and you switch it on and it provides four programs: thunderstorms, a gurgling stream, crickets at night, and white noise. I decided that having water running at night isn't such a good idea-particularly if you drink a few glasses of water before bedtime. Running water causes-well, unless you have a bladder the size of a camel's, you can spend most of the night in the bathroom. I know this from experience!!

I've used the white noise for a few nights, and put the volume up to cover the noise of hammering and loud music-and I can truthfully say that white noise keeps me awake!!! But-I will persevere, and, hopefully, I will be able to sleep through one entire night without a problem. That will be a first.

It's a new year-and, for me, it's also a new decade-and nobody ever said that change is easy. I'm having to accept what has been done, and also accept the fact that it might take me a total of three years to get that all-important 80% of my balance and visual acuity back. I could get more - perhaps - but I need to work hard and stop worrying about how long it is taking and what percentage I've got back.

Yes, perhaps there will be other lives in the offing-perhaps there is such a thing as reincarnation-and, really, who cares?? I only know this life, and this life, as far as I know, is the only life-so I intend to make the best of it. It's taken long enough!!!

I'm off to have some orange juice-without champagne, so it's Buck's Fizz without the fizz. What the heck? We only live once, so we should enjoy every minute of it (except ironing. And cleaning floors. But we can enjoy the rest of it).