Another triumph to add to the list

I didn't want to go into the city today. Honestly-I was afraid. Today was the second overcast day since I got here two weeks ago; it was supposed to rain, but it stayed dry, so that was okay. In fact, it only rained once since I arrived-the first Monday night. But it was dark, and I turn into a pumpkin as soon as it gets dark, so as far as I was concerned, that didn't count anyway!!

I pushed myself to get to Jamaica Center-and I decided to take the E train. By the time I would have arrived at any of the museums, I wouldn't have had enough time, since I really need to be out of trains and buses before the rush hour. So I stood there for a minute - and decided that I really didn't want to go shopping. I have more than enough as it is. What I really wanted to do was to visit Ground Zero. So I took the E train to the last stop: the World Trade Center. It took about an hour.

There were signs everywhere that there are 3,000 people working at the site, and that the World Trade Center Tower 1 is halfway toward the goal of 104 floors. I looked at the building that was half finished: it is truly magnificent - and shrouded in mist. Spooky.

The memorial made me shed more than a tear or two; all tourists seem to flock to the 9/11 memorial, and the architects did a superb job. I then walked across the road to St. Paul's Church; Washington prayed here before he took office as first President of the United States in 1789. And when the towers came down, the church survived. Inside are memorials to the firefighters and police who perished, as well as to all the volunteers who spent so much of their time helping others. It was very humbling, and I lit a candle for the dead. I'm not religious at all-but I really wanted to honor them in some small way.

Then I took the E train back to Penn Station, and spent an inordinate amount of time searching for a flag patch to put on my jacket. There were none to be found. So I took the train back to Jamaica, and the bus back to the hotel.

I have to say that I felt quite a sense of achievement. I was walking in midtown at lunchtime, and I can tell you (sadly) that there are as many idiots with the brains of a doorknob that there are in London. They just don't look where they're going, they don't apologize (God forbid they apologize!!), and they seem to expect you to sprint out of their way, even though it is obvious that you have a balance problem. There is a sad trait that seems to be shared by the British and New Yorkers alike.

But- the point is, I pushed the boat out, even though I really was apprehensive about going into the city; I've allowed the balance problems affect me for a very long time. I couldn't have done any of this two years ago-or even six months ago-but I persevered, and I was okay. Tired-but okay.

The museums will still be there the next time I come home. My favorite bookstore (Barnes & Noble) will still be there the next time I come home. And the next time I come home will -hopefully-be next year, and I expect to be off the walking stick by then, and to have at least 80% of balance back.

I'm not invincible, or unstoppable-but I am very, very determined. And this trip has given me some of my confidence back. Even if I put myself in debtor's prison it would be worth it.

It's a good job I'm going back to Blighty tomorrow-because if I stay any longer, I will need two seats on the plane. I ate (like a horse), I drank (not a lot, just enough to know I can), and I'm happy-and I haven't been happy in a very, very long time!