Dazed, confused-and back in the mother country

There are people who never get jet lag-there are people who have jet lag for a day or two, and then they are fine-and then there are those of us who get absolutely slammed by horrendous jet lag in both directions and for about four days each time. That would be me! I'm still running on New York time, and I'm having a tough time writing this blog-which is why I waited until now, although there is a lot of swearing (under my breath, of course) as I keep hitting the wrong keys.

I got to JFK four hours before I was due to board; this is because I had to check out of the hotel, and my friend dropped me off early. I don't mind flying at all; it's the waiting around that irritates me! Happily, Delta will have its own terminal in May of 2013-so I don't have to check in at Terminal 2 and have a huge route march to the gate at Terminal 4!! JFK now has eight terminals-the place is massive!!

I was too tired to have a good look around all the shops when I finally reached the gate, which was in the back of beyond. I figured out why my balance was so terrible: I didn't sleep well on Wednesday night (I never can sleep the night before a flight. Nerves, I think), and everything was so heavy, I felt like a Sherpa with all my stuff. My suitcase weighed in at 54 pounds. Fifty four pounds!!! No wonder it felt heavy (LOL!). And my backpack-I weighed it out of curiosity-weighed a mere 13 pounds. Oh, well-ouch!! And, the thing is, I didn't buy that much. In fact, there were things I wanted to buy that I can't get over here, and I never got around to buying them. When I got back here, I realized that I completely forgot to get some things I felt are essential. Obviously, they weren't that essential or I would have made more of a point in finding them. Then my suitcase would have weighed 60 pounds!!!

What was interesting to me was that there were signs everywhere that Delta participates in Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which now seems to take place every October. There were pink piggy banks on counters, in case anyone wanted to drop in some change. All the staff wore pink: there were pink sweaters, pink stripes on blouses and shirts, one supervisor wore a pink suit-even the steward on the plane wore a pink cravat. Delta went all out to show support for this-and I thought it was great. My seat was over the right wing-and as I looked out the window, I noticed that even the engines were painted pink!! I had to smile at that: pink engines, too (no wonder the cost of tickets has gone up. LOL!!). Delta went all out, and I have to say that I was very pleased about that. Nobody else did that!!

Both New York and Orlando were flooded with pink-the regulation pink that signifies Breast Cancer Awareness Month-and I felt happy that so many people were paying attention. I was proud.

The plane was delayed both ways, take off and landing. In fact, we circled Heathrow for nearly an hour, and I was beginning to think we would run out of fuel, and the passengers would have to walk!! Many passengers were growing very nervous: it was after 7am, we had been in the air about eight hours, and we were still circling the airport. But, as I wrote previously, when there is nothing you can do, you just get on with it (whatever it is).

I got back to North London at about 10:30 on Friday morning - and this time, nobody lost my suitcase. How could they, when it was too heavy to lift!!

Friday and yesterday I was pretty useless. I did my infusions yesterday, hoping that I wouldn't stab myself, since I couldn't really see what I was doing. But that turned out okay, and on both days I managed to stay awake until about 10:30pm before I crashed. My balance and vision still haven't recovered. Yet. But my GP did warn me that I would probably have balance and visual difficulties for a few days, and that is exactly what happened. I'm not worried; I should be back to normal by Tuesday (hopefully).

I wanted to celebrate surviving the last two years, reaching 50% of my balance back (a huge fight if there ever was one), and the birthdays I pretty much ignored since this gentamicin thing happened. And that is what I did: I celebrated by taking two weeks and going home. It wasn't easy, and I didn't do all the things I wanted to do while I was home-but I saw the people who are most important to me, I visited Ground Zero and lit a candle for the people who were senselessly murdered on 9/11, and I can be proud of myself for taking a risk and doing what I thought I never would be able to do.

I've learned a tremendous amount - and that was what drove me, not shopping, or sightseeing. And I will share all that I've learned when I am back in this time zone and I can write without making a lot of mistakes and swearing (I still have no cable, so I am writing from the library computers, so I can't swear out loud. I have to behave myself.LOL).

I've got some decisions to make.