The grass is greener-and other myths

It's such a joy to be able to get online early in the morning-I could get used to this. When I get back, I should be able to do the same-provided, of course, that British Telecom has finally fixed the cables that some engineer broke so long ago that I can't remember the last time I was able to get online from home!!

Ah, British technology-from the same people that brought us the Titanic. What more can one say??

I've been keeping up with the Presidential debates, and I've been talking (briefly) to other guests in the Marriott, as well as hotel staff and my friends. And-it's interesting to me, because I hear so many people say they love London, and they could so easily live there. Ah, yes, I reply-but you've only been there on vacation. You have to have lived there, and struggled to survive there, and then you really know how difficult it is: the economy is in the toilet, there is very high crime, high unemployment, the cost of living is astronomical but the standard of living is way below ours. It isn't Four Weddings and a Funeral; there is nothing romantic about the country except scenery and the accent. And there is a strong anti-American sentiment that seems to grow stronger.

But-I also have heard some Brits say they love New York, and San Francisco (me, too), and Florida-and they would love to live over here. In fact, so many people ask me why on earth I am still living there, now that I got a divorce. That is complicated, so I'll leave it for now. But I can see how difficult it is for my own people, too. We all want what we can't have; the grass is always greener somewhere else. I hear my friend from Pennsylvania dump on America and Americans, and I find it irritating-then I remember that I do the same thing over there. So it's a case of swings and roundabouts.

My good friend NJ pointed out that there are good things and not so good things about both countries; she advised me to look for the good in the UK, since I have to stay there (for now)-and since I have spent more than half my life there. NJ is five years younger than I am-and is very, very wise. We hadn't seen each other for about 13 years, so were both a bit concerned about the Florida visit - but we are really like sisters - except for the fighting and sibling rivalry!

I live there, but my heart will always be here. I'm proud to be exactly who I am.

I did a quick recap during the night; I didn't sleep well, even though the room is very comfortable. I was very aware of the fact that tomorrow I return to London-and I don't know when I will be able to come back to the USA. I hope I can get here before Obama destroys our country-very much like Blair did to the UK. We'll see.

I arrived on Thursday and got to the hotel a little after 4pm. Even with a severe case of jet lag (that lasted until Monday afternoon!!), I just kept going. I hung out with my friend Diane, and my friends from Pennsylvania drove to see me on Sunday and Monday (the day I suddenly developed a cold sore-the first cold sore I have ever had, and I was embarrassed but still didn't let it stop me. After ten days, it is finally beginning to start to heal, and doesn't look like a huge, nasty cauliflower anymore). I was so incredibly pleased that people actually drove over a hundred miles to spend a couple of hours with me, only to have to turn around and drive back to Pennsylvania. In the UK-especially in the last two years-I have been concentrating on remaining upright, so I haven't spent time cultivating friendships. And it's difficult over there; I've met so many nutters that I am somewhat reluctant to hang out with anyone!! I think it's time I socialize more, get out there and do things that interest me. I've spent too much time concentrating on health (or lack thereof). I must admit that I'm fine being a bit of a hermit; I like my own company.

Even Florida smiled on me when I arrived on Thursday. And NJ is a gourmet cook, so I have definitely put some weight on. I kept joking that I will need two seats on the way back to London!! I've probably gained at least five pounds-but I decided to just enjoy myself, and I can lose the weight when I return on Friday morning. I'm not a gourmet cook; I'm not bad, and nobody has died from my cooking (yet)-but I'm no Julia Child (sadly). NJ also sews; give me a needle and thread, and you will get a lot of swearing and a large amount of blood spatter. Good thing I have a good dry cleaners who also repair stuff!! And we spent time on the computer, and NJ showed me a lot of things I didn't know; my computer is a new one, and I need to learn about operating it (my last Toshiba finally went to the giant computer graveyard after 12 years of great service. Boo hiss).

I came back to New York on Monday afternoon-and all flights were great, and the Delta people helped a lot-but I did have some balance issues. My GP warned that I would probably regress after flying, so I was prepared for that. I didn't do much on Monday, and yesterday I walked over to Diane's (a mile and a half) and hung out for awhile; we went to a park near her house, and sat and watched the ducks. It was very peaceful, and I realized that, balance or not, I felt quite happy. Diane, her husband and I went to dinner at TGI Fridays last night-and that will be my last big meal while I'm here in New York. Portion sizes have decreased in an effort to stop the obesity problem-one that the UK shares (more than 40% of UK residents are morbidly obese, so the percentage per capita is about the same in both countries).

Today I am going to be brave and take the bus to the train, and take the train into the city. I don't know how I will react (balance-wise) - but I want to see if I can get to one of the museums. The Metropolitan is a bit far for me (this trip)-anyway, we will see how well I do.

I'm determined not to let this balance problem stop me. This trip is my gift to myself. I didn't really celebrate my birthday for the last few years, so this is my birthday present. It's also an acknowledgment of my two-year fight to both survive and to get as much of my balance back as possible. I refuse to let this setback (as major as it is) to dictate my happiness, and my ability to live a good life. I'm off to the city; as what's his name said: I'll be back!!!